Two Rings to Bind Them
by glorybrightone
Summary: Naruto needs to marry someone in order to get his inheritance.  Sasuke's the most logical choice but what trouble does it cause when everyone but Naruto takes the marriage serious? SasuNaru
1. Proposing

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Boyxboy.. that mean gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

"So will you marry me?"

"Come again?"

"I'm asking if you will marry me?" Naruto sat in front of Konaha's voted 'Sexiest man 2011.'

"What?" Sasuke sounded non-to-pleased.

Naruto slide a paper across the coffee table as he stood to his roommate, best friend, and long time rival.

"My lawyer informed me this morning. No trust fund if I'm not married." Naruto stepped around the table While brushing his hand through the golden locks atop his head.

"So ask some girl." Sasuke's dark eye's glared at Naruto.

"Some girl will just take advantage of me." Soft baby blue eyes smiled back to Sasuke. "To us this is a business transaction." Naruto waved his hand then continues his pacing. "I can't follow through on my half of buying out Kyubbi software. You do still want to make a name for yourself and not live in Itachi's shadow all you life don't you?" Sasuke's eye's narrowed at the mention of his brother's name.

"How about you ask Sakura?" Sasuke spat out in what he would think was a perfect revenge for reminding him of Itachi's existence.

"I did she turned me down." Naruto pouted.

"Hinata?" Sasuke casually placed his feet atop the papers Naruto had laid on the coffee table.

"She passed out and had to go to the emergency room when I asked. When she awoke she had no memory of the event and to prevent it from happening it again her cousin forbid me to ask her again."

"Ino?"

"Dating Choji."

"Temari?"

"Also dating."

"Choji?" Sasuke asked in an accusing voice. Sasuke did not approve of sleeping around, let alone sex at all as far as Naruto could ever tell.

"No Shika. Do you know nothing about our friend's personal lives?"

BZZZZzzzzt. A fly swished past them.

"I make it a point not to, but yours always seems to wiggle it's way in."

"So you marry me?" Bzzzttt... Sasuke swished his hand around to get rid of their little pest.

"Since you have resorted to asking maaaales..." Sasuke contemplated in full earnest. "How about Gaara?"

"He just growled at me and went back to playing his video game."

"Neji?"

"He thought it beneath him to pick up Hinata's caste offs."

"Shika?"

"We just had this conversation, he's dating Temari."

"Choji?"

"Really?"

"He seems like a player. Might be what you are looking for." Sasuke's voice remained dead serious.

"Point taken," Naruto stopped his pacing for a moment and stroked a fake beard to think it over. "Buuuut I'm going to have to go with no."

"Sai?" Sasuke's shoes squeaked on the glass of the coffee table as he adjusted his seating to get more comfortable in what promised to be a long conversation.

"Sai said something about my dick being too small for him."

"What does it matter when you bottom?"

"Hey! I'd be the top in that pairing." Naruto barked back.

Bzzzzzzztzttzzzzt. The same fly went straight through Naruto's path as he turned about the room once more.

"Shino?"

"HELL NO."

"Beggers can't be choosers."

"I'm asking you, aren't I."

"Yes. And I seam to be last."

"I didn't ask your brother yet or Shino..." Naruto gave a huge cheese grin while sitting himself down next to Sasuke's feet, tired of pacing.

"What a relief" Sasuke spouted sarcastically.

"Look it's the perfect arrangement." Naruto seized Sasuke's feet into his hands and swished them back and forth. "You don't want to date. You think it's a big bother. Plus, Sakura will get off your case. Eh.. EH... EHHHHH?"

"And kill you for me. Two birds with one stone."

"Mute point." Naruto gave one last push to Sasuke's feet and then flung his hand back and forth in denial of the severity of Sakura's wrath. "She'll get over it once I tell her it was a political marriage for the money."

"So marry her, she's into marriage for money."

"You know she's not like that. She said she's waiting for you. So no worriesabout me taking her from her, 'Mr. I don't date.' Besides this gives you the perfect lead in to dismiss dating, if you're with me you can sleep around all you want and never have to commit, even with her, if you must." Naruto grumbled the last part under his breath.

"You really think that's a point in your favor?" Sasuke droned whilst rubbing his temples.

"Huh... well... in my favor yes.. cause I can get as many ladies as I want too." Naruto switched seats plopping his bum next to Sasuke's "It's really best that I find some one that I'm not in love with since I'm such a player."

Bzzzzzt .

"Well go some place else cause I'm deaply," bzzzzzt "madly," BZZZZZt, "completely," bzzzzzzzzz "uterly, in love with you." Sasuke's voice never changed, his along with Naruto's eyes followed the fly whizzing through the room.

"Shit. I'm so going ninja on that thing!" Naruto ran up to get a fly swatter. He stood in the middle of the room, mere inches away from the coffee table. Standing in silence he waited for the beast to make it's move. Waited. Waited. Stilll waiting... and waiting...

"Fine as long as you promise the sex." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

zzzzzzzzzzzz... Swish... Misssssed by a mile...

"Huh?" Naruto asked to Sasuke barely paying attention

"Sex. I wants. You give. I marry. Is that simple enough for your cave man brain?"

"I'm not an..." Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Swwwaaaapp...

"You missed."

"I know, bastard."

"Such loving words from my bride to be."

"The fuck.. I'm not the bride..."

BBzzzzz... swat swap swish..

"FUCK!" Naruto yelled out in frustration.

"Moron, you listening. I agreed if you agree."

Bzzzt... Naruto looked about for the fly but didn't see it. "Huh sure.. whatever you wanted is fine. Believe it." Stated no longer concentrating on the conversation between him and Sasuke. Swap. "AAAAA dieeeee..." Naruto ran about then stood still in front of Sasuke once more.

Sasuke got up from his seat and moved over to his fiance. He motioned to take the fly swatter but Naruto pulled away.

"No way. I can do... do ... do..." Sasuke continued to grab at it. Both of their hands clasped, "it my..." Sasuke suddenly let go causing Naruto to loose his balance. The world tumble over and the apartment was filled with the loud splatter of glass. "...self."

"You're the woman I always dreamed of marrying. Father will be so proud." Sasuke bent over snapping the swatter from Naruto.

Bzzzz... SMACK.

The bug fell directly onto the crunched up Naruto's stomach.

"I hate you."

"Love you too, baby."

Don't forget to Review to inspire me to keep writing. ^^


	2. Procedures

Many thanks to those that reviewed you got me so excited that I couldn't wait to post this.

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Boyxboy.. that mean gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

-Chapter 2 Procedures

Naruto's office wasn't as large as his father's but that could be expected from only being second in command. The whole building and operation was modest just like his family. They weren't the flashy type throwing money around and making sure their societal status was known. No his parents took a much different approach, which included Naruto working for anything he wanted. Even in high school he had to earn the beat up brown junker he drove around.

There were a few things that a regular person couldn't do on his own. With the addition of his inheritance he would finally acquire a company of his own and be able to prove himself to his father and the world. Naruto's dad proved himself, and now it would his turn to fully walk into the sun. He sat looking over the finer details of their second quarter reviews when his fiance walked in demanding something he never expected...

"YOU WANT A WHAT?" Naruto's stern voice could be hear through the entire office in that moment.

"An engagement party." Sasuke said simply.

"Sasuke," Naruto chuckled, "Saaasuke... I thought we agreed to keep this whole thing quite." Naruto stroked his hand across the cool cherry wood desk he sat behind.

"We never discussed that." Sasuke smirked.

"It was implied, since it's not a real marriage." Naruto's patience was wearing thin at this notion.

"Marriage in it's simplest terms is two people entering into financial symbiosis. We will be both signing an agreement to do such, so this is clearly a real marriage, as such I want all the traditional celebrations and activities that accompany it." The dark haired genius smartly retorted.

"You weren't ever even going to get married if I didn't need you for this. When have you ever even gone on a date?"

"Dating is expensive and too much of a bother." Sasuke sat down in the right chair across from Naruto's desk making the interaction appear nothing more than a common business meeting.

"And engagement parties are not expensive? Especially for a fake marriage, Mr. Penny pincher? " Naruto took in a deep breath and sighed. "I swear I went over this. We will be signing the papers, I will get my inheritance, after I get the money we can get a swift divorce. Then we get our business, thus you gain more money. So why are you making this..."

"Speaking of which I am having a prenuptial agreement drawn up. We both need to protect our assets, and our families reputations should this union go sour."

"Should? Sasuke we will not be married for all that long. We are planning on it getting sour..."

"There needs to be grounds for divorce, it's not granted over such simple things as you got your inheritance and now you don't need me anymore."

"There are judges that will grant it, don't worry about it."

"And slander the Uchiha name with a divorce? Hn."

"What about the Uzamaki name?"

"It's your mother's"

"So all the more to care for it and keep it in good standings."

"So you agree that a divorce would be bad for our family names?"

"Yeah."

"Then you agree we shouldn't be aiming for divorce and if we are staying married then this is as real of a union as any other. I want an engagement party."

Naruto looked like a gaping fish out of water. What had just happened? He was having a quick quite legal dance to get his inheritances and now he was agreeing to stay married to his childhood nemesis?

"You are changing your name to Uchiha correct?" Sasuke slide the topic into the conversation like Babe Ruth going into home plate.

"I asked you." Naruto slowly responded as he recovered from the previous topic. "So you should be an Uzamaki."

Sasuke stared Naruto down at that comment. There was no way Naruto would back down and changed his name. His fist clenched onto his arm chair and he prepared for a serious fight.

"Ok, we can both keep our names, your mother will be thrilled at the strong feminist you've become." Sasuke final concluded breaking the silence.

"I'm not the girl in this relationship." Naruto growled out.

"Now whose making this union sound real? Relationship." Working through his predetermined agenda for this interaction Sasuke moved straight into the next topic. "By the way, I have already informed my father of the impending contract." 

"Contract?" Naruto questioned, not focusing on the most important information Sasuke just dropped.

"Marriage ... Contract. Really where is your head?" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"I'm not sure..." Naruto spoke to himself as Sasuke continued.

Sasuke stood up and started putting his jacket on. "By the way, we are having lunch with our parents tomorrow." He bent over grabbing his trusty suit case and stood waiting for it to hit his fiance.

tick  
>tick<br>tick  
>tick tick tick<br>tick tick tick tick tick tick  
>BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!<p>

"YOU... TOLD YOUR PARENTS! Sasuke.. Vagas. Simple, legal, quick and clean. Why did you tell your parents?" Naruto grabbed his own forehead and grasped the short golden locks attached and started pulling.

"It's the next most natural step to take after one has been engaged. It is also protocol that we have a meal with our parents so that the families can meet." Sasuke explained as if it were simple algebra.

"My ...parents...SASUKE... why did you tel them too? Shit." Naruto banged his head down onto his desk. "Sasuke... what are you thinking?"

"I couldn't have the parents lunch without your parents being invited. It's common sense. Really Naruto. They need to met as they are all gaining son-in-laws"

"Our parents already know each other!"

"Well that will make for a pleasant meal then. And I was wrong by the way. My father is very pleased by this union. He called it financial genesis. First time that word has been used for one of your concoctions I'm sure." Sasuke took the few remaining step left to the office door, opened it and walked out.

"Bastard!" Naruto called after the Raven.

-

"The Prenuptial agreement has arrived from the Uchiha's lawyer, one Kakashi Hatake?"

"Anything I should be worried about, Jiraiya?" Naruto asked while filling in the last column of his spread sheet.

"Nothing too much. Fairly standard. Good call on specifying the sexual demands. You don't want to go in not knowing where the other person stands." Naruto clicked his mouse and held while dragging it down filling in the column.

"Pervert! Only you would be concerned about that." Naruto pulled down the graphical interface and started plotting his conclusion.

"His lawyer wrote most of it."

"Yeah, most? Not all...I knew you added to it."

There was a pregnant silence in which Naruto took the time to save his document and open his email.

"Anything financially that I should know about?"

"Just if you fail on your part, you'll get slapped with some major losses. Shouldn't be a problem though, he's got the same deal against him. It's a common thing to solidify before hand what emotional damages amount to monetarily, otherwise it can really drag out in court."

"So would you sign the document?"

"Only if the person had titties, I don't want some other dude's junk whirling around in my face."

"Like Sasuke does?"

"I would say. He going to be getting a lot of ass I'm predicting."

"I have no problem with him getting ass or want ever else he wants as long as I get my money." Naruto started typing up his report and attached the spread sheet.

"Well I'll swing by with the papers and show you were to sign."

"Perfect. Got to go to a meeting. See you soon." Naruto hung up the phone and pushed send on his email before grabbing his coat jacket and heading out.

Don't forget to Review to inspire me to keep writing. ^^


	3. Meeting of the families

Many thanks to those that reviewed.

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Boyxboy.. that mean gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

-Chapter 3 Lunch

- Chapter 3 Lunch  
>"We have the meeting with Kyubbi Corp at 3 pm. Are you going to make it?"<p>

"Of course. Are you going to remember?" Sasuke asked in all seriousness.

"Would I forget?"

"Yes, you forgot the last one and I had to save our asses. If you don't show up this time they are going to sell to someone else. This company is hot."

"I know. I know. I will be there I promise, ...honey." Naruto purposely placed the sentimental word in. "Speaking of the wedding... You should arrange the engagement party, since you're the one that wants it and all."

"It's your trust fund that we are ensuring you throw the party."

"I have meetings all day. I have to meet with dad about the projection and business plan for the summer line at Uz a Make clothing. I'm totally booked"

"And I have to meet with Itachi and then my father. I have to explain to them why my spouse won't be taking the name Uchiha." Sasuke rebutted.

"You know my parent don't exactly have the same name."

"Doesn't mean my father is pleased, he blames there example."

"All they are focusing on is the name thing? Don't they care at all that you are marrying a guy?"

"Did your parents?"

"Yeah my mom celebrated for at least an hour. She called up the girls and had a big coming out of the closet party last night. It's going to be a sad day when she figures out that I wasn't ever in the closet."

"And your dad?"

"He says he knew since I was 5. Something about the ken dolls."

"Hn."

"What they wouldn't let me play with barbies. Maybe if i got to see some naked doll tit's I wouldn't be into penis so much."

"You better remember those words on our wedding night."

"You suddenly interested in penis?"

"Only yours."

"You are too sweet." Naruto sarcastically replied.

"You'll soon find out how much."

"Sooo the engagement party... you are ..."

"Have your secretary do it."

"ENNNNNNNNNNNNNN" Naruto made a sound like a buzzer. "My Secretary is in love with you. She'll kill me if I ask her to throw our engagement party."

"Too bad. I'm not into her and I'm marrying you. She'll find out eventually."

"Well I guess she can help me celebrate my fake wedding."

"It's going to be as legal as any other."

"True, but a lot less sex than most."

"You promised me lots of sex."

"Uhhh... yeah... so you paying for the hookers or am I?"

"You can dress up in a skirt if you like. Got to go." Click.

Why did that conversation feel like they were a real couple more than a fake one? Alas, Sasuke's humor never ceased to amuse him.

- Lunch Namikaze Minato & Uzumaki Kushina, Fugaku & Mikoto Uchiha.

"There they are." Kushina, Naruto's mother, nearly melted as she grasped her husbands hand.

"Calm down dear you've seen them together before." Minato Namikaze said patting his wife's hand.

"But not as an engaged couple." She whined slightly leaning over into her husband's shoulder.

The two pairs approached each other as they walked to the restaurants door.

"Don't you two look adorable." She grasp both of their checks and squeezed.

"Mom stop I'm nearly 25, far to old for cheek pinching." Naruto protested.

"Naruto, you'll always be my baby, even if this man is taking advantage of your ass."

"MOM! Mom... were waiting." Naruto's poor ears were not ready for hear about his ass being raped let alone from his mother.

"Waiting for what?" She scoffed at the comment.

"Until we're married."

A low laughter started and then Kushina's boisterous cackle filled the room as they entered the building. "Oh baby, you don't need to hide it, we've all known for years and your engaged now. Go on.. Kissy kissy."

"Mom!"

Naruto felt a tug on the hand connecting him to Sasuke. He looked into dark eyes followed by the evil smirk on Sasuke's face foretelling only one disastrous action was on the raven's mind. Sasuke pulled Naruto in and landed a solid kiss on his lips. Naruto's eyes bulged out. It wasn't their first kiss, sadly, oh no... Naruto's life was somehow filled with moments of lip locking this boy for one reason or another. Dares, spin the bottle, drunken madness, and the worse one.. their first kiss from being pushed together accidentally on the first day they met. Sasuke had taken his first god damn kiss and never let him forget it either.

As the kiss finished and his mom stopped squealing with joy Sasuke's parents stood up from their waiting places to greet the lot of them.

"Sasuke." The two men shook hands in greeting. Sasuke's mother on the other hand gave him a warm hug. He hugged her back before releasing her entirely his hand dropped and held hers for a moment. Mikoto was one of the few people Sasuke ever showed softness toward. "Itachi has already been seated, shall we join him?" Her eye's smiled into her son's.

"Shit." Naruto spat out under his breath. Itachi was always a problem, he knew to much and got under Sasuke's skin perhaps more than Naruto did, but always in a bad way.

The group followed as Mikoto led her son back. It didn't take long to be seated and menu's placed in front of them. Naruto grumbled as he was seated next to his fiance. Didn't he see him enough at home? They were roommates, no need to be seated so closely.

"So boys, who proposed to who?" Mikoto asked starting conversation.

"Undoubtedly, Sasuke, my son is too shy when it come's the relationship." Minito piped in.

"But Sasuke hasn't got the balls." Itachi stated like it was the news.

"I have plenty of balls." Sasuke glared across the table.

"Boys." Fugaku Uchiha warned.

"I proposed." Naruto said calming the mood.

"Knew it." Itachi mouthed across the table at Sasuke.

"Well, I'm not surprised in the least." Sasuke's mother interjected. "And it doesn't matter who proposed just that one of them finally did. I'm just so happy for you baby, how long have you been together now?"

"Oh Mikoto, that's so hard to tell, when have they not been together? I would say they were together at least since high school." Kushina supplied.

"Oh no they were still fighting and rough housing all the time in high school."

"Fighting? If you consider sex rough housing." Naruto's mom laughed out.  
><em><br>Nartuo leaned over and whispered into Sasuke's ear. "Why do they think we've been dating since high school?"_

"Haven't we?" Sasuke brushed their lips together, while Naruto gave him a stern look.

"This isn't' funny. Stop kissing me, you are only making it worse."

"Engaged couples kiss."

Sasuke's hand capture Naruto's face so that he could give him a long smooch in front of their audience. Naruto let out a low growl. He took his fork and carefully placed it under the table cloth where no one else could see him stab at Sasuke's leg.

_"Fuck you Uchiha." _He whispered then smiled.

"I believe mother is right. Their first time wasn't until college in the frat house together." That statement pulled Naruto's attention away from their secret fight. "Remember, Sasuke, it was the welcome for new frat members party, you were both drunk off your asses. I remember the phone call. 'I just Fucked Naruto. IN the ASS. Boo-ya...' You actually said 'Boo-ya.'" Itachi drawled out as if he were having a normal conversation.

Naruto grabbed Sasuke wrist and pulled him in close, purposely clenching the wrist harder than needed pushing his fork into Sasuke's side. _"Tell me Itachi is kidding..." _

"Now is not the time... you can eat me later, lover." Sasuke gave his best smile and looked over to the table to continue talking when Nartuo started jabbing him harder.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. _"Stop kidding around Sasuke. I'm not your... lover. I swear to God Sasuke if you don't' tell me right now what really happened that night, I will kill you. You told me nothing bad happened that night."  
><em>  
><em>"Nothing bad did happen. You were a very good lay." <em>

Naruto's face inflamed with anger. Sasuke grabbed the side of Naruto's hand and twisted it around while Naruto's face was stunned and looking like a fish.

_"You agreed that we would be copulating so what's the big deal?"_Naruto's face crunched up at the large vocabulary word Sasuke was using, but before he could ask what was meant someone interrupted.

"Sasuke, you can woe your little female later." Sasuke glanced up at his brother with daggers then followed his eyes to the object standing above them.

"Your order sirs?" Naruto looked up to the waiter like he was waking up from a bad dream. He quickly spat out the first thing that looked good on the menu as did Sasuke.

Naruto took the interruption to turn the conversation towards business, sports, even religion as long as it stayed off the topic of his and Sasuke's marriage. But the mothers were not ready to let it go.

"Boys don't you worry about a thing Mikoto and I are going to throw you the biggest wedding party you've ever seen. What do you think of the colors orange and blue?"

"We just want something small, Mom." Naruto attempted to persuade her.

"NONSENSE! YOU ARE MY ONLY BABY AND YOU ARE GETTING A WEDDING TO REMEMBER!"

"Yes, mommy." Naruto sheltered himself in and bowed his head a little.

His mom beamed with happiness speaking a mile a minute with Mikoto. She did love throwing a party. But it seamed so wrong. He and Sasuke's were not as in love as they all thought.

"Invitees...?" They started on an epic list writing down every person that came to mind. "Oh yes forth cousins, the police chief, ..."

"That judge that only gave them four weeks of community service for stealing the Hyuga's yacht." Itachi suggested. "Oh and that nice principle that always gave them detention together, I'm sure he'd love to see the fruits of all that time they had together." Minito nodded as he helped the ladies in their madness.

"Oh, they should ride up in a carriages, Naruto will dress all in white of course."

"And Sasuke in black."

"Whoa.. why am I in white?"

"Cause you're the bride." Itachi clarified, but the thought was long past before Naruto could make further comment.

"...and we'll have little people run around in fairy costumes throwing petals." Mikoto added in.

"I've got it they should fly in from a hot air balloon." Naruto's mom brainstormed.

"NO... They should parachute in from a helicopter.."

"Mom..." Naruto cried as the rest of the dinner was spent planning what seamed more like a circus than a wedding.

The couples split off and moved towards their cars after pleasant goodbyes, while Itachi walked alone to his red Ferrari.

"Sasuke" Naruto whispered despite the growing distance between them and their parents. "They think we are in love."

"We are getting married of course they do." He responded in a normal tone

"We need to tell them." Naruto continued to whisper.

"Tell them what?"

"That we aren't"

"I love you, and you love me too. So it's fine." Sasuke tried to reassure the man.

"Yeah as a brother." Naruto objected to the implications of the statements.

"I assure you I love you more than I love Itachi."

Don't forget to Review to inspire me to keep writing. ^^


	4. Boys Night Out

Many thanks to those that reviewed.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Boyxboy.. that mean gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content and some language.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

- Chapter 4 Boys Night Out

Kiba smiled as he passed the doorman who let him into Sasuke and Naruto apartment complex. The elevator was waiting to open as soon as he hit the button. His feet carried him through the doubles door and he hit the bottom right button. Looking into the mirror covering the back wall of the small room he touched up his hair.

"Watch out ladies this dog is coming for your virtue tonight!" He blushed slightly as the doors opened and an elder woman stood their with a single eyebrow raised.

"Getting off youngling?"

"I sure hope so." He gave he a cheesy smiled as he skipped out of the shaft. A few more steps brought him to the overly protected door. He pushed the buzzer and waited.

"Whooo is it?" Naruto's voice came out of a speaker.

"The hounds of hell, now fucking open the door."

The door buzzed and he walked through.

"Greetings all." To the left Sasuke sat along the center counter in the over sized kitchen. The kitchen was fully loaded with a pantry, two fridges, double sinks, a huge microwave, and state of the art oven. Naruto's door swung open as he walked out to greet his long time second bestest friend. Naruto had on a dark orange button down shirt with intricate embroidery of a nine-tailed fox. His pants a dark blue fit tight to his ass and he wore simple chucks for shoes. No one could get those blasted things off him but his mother. They bumped chest and gave a good grunt and some pats on the back.

"What the hell is in your hair?" Naruto pointed.

"Feathers. Hot huh?"

"That is the stupidest, girly thing, ever. You look gay."

"They are totally the look right now. These are going to get me laid tonight. The ladies won't be able to resist."

"That's what you said about tattooing red triangles on your face, 'instant conversation piece.' And we all know how well that worked.

"Hey they go over well enough in the Gothic clubs."

"Where there scary chicks that want to stick dildos up your ass cause they watch yaoi." Naruto grinned at at his friend who cringed at the thought.

"Remind me again exactly how you found that out?" Kiba retorted.

Naruto nodded towards the kitchen then walked over and went into the pantry to pull out some bread ignoring his friend's question in the process.

"So where are you taking my fiancee off to tonight?" Sasuke spun around in the bar stool after placing down his book.

"Dude, I know you've been living together like forever," Kiba walked over to the center counter and casual leaned on it with both hands clasped. " waaay past the necessary time frame, seeing as you are both grown ass men, but now your **pretending** to be engaged?" He emphasized pretending to imply he got the joke but didn't find it amusing.

"It's real."

"It's fake." Naruto objected as he walked to the fridge. Sasuke followed close behind. As Naruto pulled out a bag of turkey meat, a similar bag of cheese, a head of lettuce, mayonnaise, mustard and tomatoes each one was passed to Sasuke's hands which then placed it orderly onto their kitchen's center counter.

"WHOA back the trolley up... what are you talking about?" Kiba turned his body towards them.

"He needs to marry someone in order to get grandma's money." Sasuke explained while pulling out two cutting boards.

"Oh so, Naruto, you were serious when you proposed last week, you could have been more romantic about it. Taken me out to dinner, slipped the ring into some champagne, a little bit of violin music playing a song you had written to win me over..."

"Are you a girl?" Naruto grabbed the loaf of bread and took out four slices and placed them on the cutting board.

"No, but if I had known it was fake I might have done it for a small payout. Oh speaking of girls, I got in the elevator at work and there is this girl." Sasuke pulled out two sharp knives and a butter knife and placed them in front of Naruto.

"Please tell me you didn't hit on her." Naruto grabbed the mayo and un-lidded it, then grabbed for the butter knife.

"Her ass..." Naruto spread the mayo all over the bread.

"That nice?" Naruto ask as he shook the mustard bottle and then spread a bit onto the end slice of bread only.

"That big..." Sasuke picked up a tomato as Kiba's hands jester two objects the size of bowling balls. "It was like this big, and she was skinny, like 25" waist. It stuck so far out I swear you could balance a glass on it." Sasuke placed the tomato down and sliced right through it.

"And?" Naruto pulled off several lettuce leaves. He walked down to the end of the counter to wash them in the sink.

"And she was wearing this super tight purple dress." Naruto swung the leaves about getting rid of the excess water then placed on on each slice of bread.

"And?" Naruto verbally prodded him to continue. Sasuke placed several slices of tomato on the end bread nearest him and then a solo one atop the slice with mustard.

"So I hollared at her." Sasuke opened the bag of turkey and puled out all the meat and split it into two quarter inch high groups.

"Really hollared? Kiba you're white." Naruto grabbed for the pepper grinder and twisted some of the black dots onto the tomato pile leaving the single tomato alone.

"What exactly did you say?" Sasuke cut in as he grabbed for the cheese bag and popped it open.

"I say, 'Dear lord something tragic just happen.'" Sasuke placed two slices of cheese among the bread slices further from him and one on the closer. "So she turns to look and me all sympathetic." Naruto turned the adjacent slices on top of each other while Sasuke reached for the clean sharp knife.

"And I tell her, 'I think my dick just died'." Sasuke sliced through the sandwiches from corner to corner.

Naruto stared intently at Kiba as he continued, " 'Can I bury it in your ass?' "[1] Sasuke's mouth turned up but Naruto gave out a bolstering laugh grabbing onto the counter edge unable to speak.

"SO?" Sasuke asked to get Kiba to continue with the story then grabbed two plates an placed them on the counter.

"So she slapped me pushed me off at the next floor. I had to walked up the last five flights to my floor." Kiba fake pouted.

Naruto placed the sandwiches onto the plates.

"I need to pee." Sasuke announced.

"Ok go then." Naruto gestured toward the bathroom.

"Hope everything comes out ok." Kiba called after him, whilst grabbing for the second plate.

"Eat that and I will kill you." Sasuke shouted back at the moocher.

"So where's mine?" Kiba's voice was accusing.

"You didn't say anything, how was I supposed to know you wanted one?"

"So make me one."

"Make your own. I'm not your maid."

"No but I get the feeling you're going to be Sasuke's."

"So did you tell Sakura?" Kiba moved around the tables and started constructing his own master piece.

"Tell her what?" Naruto looked puzzled.

"That you nabbed her man."

"sorta... no not really at all."

.

.

.

- Naruto's memory flashback(AKA does not tell this to Kiba)

_"Sakura could you get me the number of a few party planners?" Naruto nearly sang the words while giving the largest smile he could. _

_"I plan all your parties boss." She replied while still typing._

_"And a great job you do, but this is a non-work related party so it's out of your job description." _

_"I usually plan those too. I like the extra cash." Her eyes widen at the word cash.  
><em>

_"Yeah, well, ok then, you should plan this party." Why didn't he have his mother plan it...? Oh yeah... stuffy old people would be invited.  
><em>

_"Who's it for?"_

_"Just some friends."_

_"The occasion?" __She sounded a little peeved at the slow rate of information.  
><em>

_"Celebrations." Naruto spat out the word quickly after a short pause to think of it.  
><em>

_"Of?"_

_Naruto hesitated again. "uhhhhhh, Partnerships."_

_"Your acquisition going well?" She presumed._

"Yeah, it's moving along." Naruto spoke the words slowly.

"Well as long as you don't take up too much of his time. He still needs a social life, as do you."

_"You know you're the one for me, Sakura"_

_"Yes, well, my heart has already been taken."_

_"By Sasuke."_

_"He'll come around. He's just scared of commitment." Sakura moped.  
><em>

_"No. I think he's just scared of dating. I'm sure he could handle commitment." Naruto gritted out the words._

_"So how many people are you expecting at this party?"_

_"Yeah I'll get you the list. It's hard to know at this point, exactly... Sai..." Naruto welcomed the opportunity to get away from Sakura. _

_"Dickless." Sai replied as if he were saying "Naruto."_

_Naruto ground his teeth together but had long since given up on Sai calling him anything else. "I see you have the boards. Come with me to my office." The two guys walked the short distance to where they could be behind closed doors.  
><em>

_"Sai, baby, tell me you have something wonderful."_

_"I turning you down remember?"_

_"Yeah, yeah, no worries I got someone else for that."_

- End flash back

.

.

.

"What does sorta mean?" Kiba picked up the empty bag of meat. "Got any Salmon?

"No," was Naruto's swift reply.

"Tuna? "

"no

"Anchovies"

"no

"Orange ruffy?"

"No. No. No. If it came from the sea it doesn't belong in me."[2]

"You are named after a fish."

"You're point?"

"It's like someone growing up in Utah and never skiing."[3] Naruto gave him a confused stare. "Doesn't Sasuke like love fish?"

"I agreed not to keep it in the apartment in exchange for him not bringing certain things to the apartment." Sasuke explained as he returned.

"There is ham in the fridge." Naruto suggested hoping Kiba wouldn't ask more about their agreements.

The three grabbed their sandwiches and for several moments devoured them in silence.

"Alright let's go get some ass!" Kiba declared as he took the last bite of his sandwich.

"Hold on, let me grab my keys." Naruto ran off to his room leaving Sasuke and Kiba alone.

"Break the engagement Sasuke."

"No."

"He doesn't feel the same about you."

"He does, he just won't admit it to himself."

"It's not fair to him or you."

"Its my only opportunity. I can make him happy, you think he should wait around until Sakura gives up her quest for my family money?"

"No, but maybe you should get over him."

"You think I'm bad for him?"

"No, I think..."

"Got em'. Ready to go." Naruto called from the living room.

Kiba and Sasuke walked over to the door Naruto was now holding. The dog breathed man walked out first and Naruto turned back to look at Sasuke. "You could come with."

"Naruto." Sasuke's voice was fully of protest and disgust.

"I know you don't like the low class 'bitches.'"

"Naruto." This time Sasuke's voice was concerned, deep, stern, worried, possessive, though Naruto missed the last one.

"I know, no fucking girls in the apartment. See you in the morning."

Sasuke went back to the kitchen to clean up the mess.

Don't forget to Review, which includes constructive criticism, pointing out large grammatical errors, thoughts and any nice words you have to inspire me to keep writing. ^^

Note: Dat ass is one I saw in a hotel elevator.. Damn it was big!  
>[1] I took this line from here: .<br>[2] On of my new favorite saying I learned from a friend.  
>[3] Now you know something about me.<p> 


	5. Unexpected Guests

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Boyxboy.. that mean gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

"Ah. give it to me, I'm ready" Naruto demanded.

Sasuke lifted up the long sturdy rod and placed it into Naruto's awaiting grasp.

Naruto slowly lowered the rod to his body, giving a slow growl while his muscles tensed then pushed back up.

"You can go faster than that, Naruto." Sasuke goaded.

Naruto gave out a growl and gasped the rod harder. "Bastard, you bench press double your weight."

"I will plus ten pounds." Naruto slowly allowed the weight to come back down then pushed it back up. 'Two' he counted mentally.

"I weigh more." 'Three.'

"Yeah, fatty."

"At least I've never been mistaken as a girl." 'Four.'

"That only happened once, and the girl hitting on me though I was a dike."

"Pfft, with your pretty face I bet she thought she had found her princess." 'Five.'

"I swear I'll let this drop on you."

"Never let go." 'Six.'

"I'll never let go, Jack, I promise." Sasuke near sang.

"That's right, Rose, go off and do all the things we talk about doing together. That will make my life mean something." Naruto spat out sarcastically. 'Seven.'

"Don't you think it would be more romantic if we died together Jack?"

"Who says shit like that? I know I wouldn't. Believe it!" 'Eight.'

"Stop hating on it. You know you went to see it like 10 time in theaters." 'Nine.'

"You were right there with me. Does this mean I have to teach you how to spit?"

"Hn."

'Ten' "I'm king of the world!"

-

Naruto and Sasuke shuffled there way into the sauna.

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW." Naruto let out a loud grunt in pleasure from the heat. "This feels so good on my muscles."

Sasuke smirked and obviously let some kind of dirty joke go. His head then nodded to the other side of the room. "What is Kiba doing here?" Sasuke asked.

"He's working out, working out his pick up lines." Naruto chuckled a bit at his own joke.

Next to Kiba sat a very demure, pale skinned beauty.

"That one is waaay out of his league." Sasuke sneered.

"Sasuke, don't be such a pessimist."

Kiba burst out laughing suddenly and his companion blushed while giving him a shy smile and touching his knee. "Yeah, waay out of his league?" Naruto retorted at Sasuke.

While Sasuke was distracted with the pair Naruto pulled out his Iphone from his towel.

"Naruto." Sasuke scolded as soon as he noticed the object.

"What?"

"Where were you hiding that? I thought we agreed no electronics in the sauna. It's relaxation time."

"I will relax better knowing what is going on with Kyubbi corp." Naruto's finger flipped up and down and tapped on the object. Sasuke closed his eyes.

"SASUKE!" Naruto's punch to the arm nearly pushed Sasuke over.

"Sauna, relaxation time! No hitting." Sasuke glared at his near-partner.

"Sasuke." Naruto said again seriously.

"Yes, my abusive love?"

"Oh, do not 'love' me

"Kiba is right over there, he'll tell on you if you kill me." Sasuke pointed to the other side of the room to a Kiba who had no clue anything else was going on in the room but a girl actually talking to him.

"I'm pretty sure Kiba is: one too distracted by that girl, and two would be on my side."

"So...anyway... the problem?" Sasuke asked sounding bored by the conversation.

"This list of people is extensive." Naruto shoved his iphone into Sasuke's face.

Sasuke pulled the electronic device from his face and examined the offensive email Naruto was referring to. "It's an engagement party."

"But you've listed half of Konaha." Naruto rubbed his temples, why was Sasuke being so difficult?

"That's hardly true, it's only 200 guests. Two of the largest family's are merging their assets, why wouldn't we throw a huge party?"

"Because our marriage is fake. I thought you knew we were trying to keep this on the down low."

"You agreed to the party."

"Yes, but..."

"Who did you think we were inviting? "

"Our family?"

"We already had a lunch for them. This is for our friends and extended family, business associates, ect, really Naruto it's like your not taking this commitment seriously."

"That's cause I'm not..." He grumbled.

"This argument is exactly why the iphone does not belong in relaxation time." Sasuke leaned back ready for this assault to be over as if that statement made the problem go away.

Naruto on the other hand was not ready to let it completely rest and gazed though the list once more. "Sasuke... Sasuke...!" Naruto started shoving at Sasuke's shoulder.

"Hnnnnn?" Sasuke groaned protesting Naruto's disturbance of quite time.

Naruto's knuckles paled to the color of Sasuke's skin as he clutched the phone, "You invited my Grandmother!"

"It's her money you're so willingly inheriting, don't you think she should met your groom-to-be?" Sasuke stated quietly without opening his eyes.

"Different grandmother, common, you know my mom's mother died when we were in college."

Sasuke smiled. "Yes, I remember, but you didn't clarify which grandmother was so generously supplying you with this money."

"SASUKE.. The Old Hag hates ... you know..."

"Naruto we are in the middle of relaxing this is hardly the time to be messing around." Sasuke kept on like a broken record. "If your wanting to play mind games go talk to Sakura. Girls excel at them."

"She hates gays, ok?"

"Not my problem, you're the one that proposed knowing that. Anyways you're the one.."

"If that sentence end in 'not taking this serious I will full out go ninja on you."

"You're the one making a big deal out of nothing."

"Using different words to mean the same thing is not getting out of..."

"By the way, Kiba's doing a lot better than I thought he would with Haku." Sasuke nodded his head towards the door.

"Haku?" Naruto thought for a moment and then looked over at the two leaving the room. "Why does that name sound so... fra... mil...ar? Oh Shit, Zabuza's boyfriend." Naruto ran off after his clueless friend.

"It is the boys sauna after all." Sasuke spoke to himself.


	6. Greetings

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Boyxboy.. that mean gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

"NarutO!" The old woman with boobs the sizes of planets came quaking through the Uzamaki Manor doors. Her blond locks, thin down her cheeks and tied into small pony tail, hung lightly over the mighty orbs. "My little bumpkin, could you help a young lady with her luggage?"

"Old hag, you're no young lady." Naruto ran over to his grandmother and gave her a hug.

"Watch your mouth, I'm still the head of this family." Naruto went over to his grandmum's maid and lifted the fifty, make that sixty pound bag.

"What the Hell is in here?"

"Sake, vodka, Jack, champagne, wine, beer, rum, and this weeks' 'People'. Seems like Jennifer Aniston is trying to get on Angie's good side. I think its foul play, she's going after Brad."

"How long are you planning on staying Nana?" Naruto asked with a giant smile, ignoring his grandma's obsession with movie star drama.

"Just until your engagement party is over, I have to make sure this girl is good enough for you."

"I'm sure you'll love 'her.' "

"Mmmmm." Her voice did not sound reassuring. This was going to be a long, long night.

Naruto tapped his phone screen once again to look at the time. "Grandma, are you going to be making a move anytime soon?"

"Go, is a game of patience. Those who study the board and take their time, will conquer."

"Yes, because their opponent gets bored."

DING DING DING DING DONG DING DING DING DONG

"Go get the door boy." His grams demanded.

"The butler will grab it."

"Naruto, when your grandmother tells you to answer the door..."

"You answer the door." Naruto finished her sentence.

"You're expecting many well to do and prominant guest today, boy, and you don't want to seam imprudent."

Naruto sighed and got up from the table. He scrolled across his phone's screen and quickly pushed a few buttons. CccCccchhh.

"What's that?" The old lady asked.

"I took a picture so you couldn't cheat."

"How dare you insinuate..." Naruto walked off to open the door.

"Naruto!" Sakura covered in bags and entangled in balloons stood lopsided behind the door. He grabbed a few of the bags and opened the door at wide as he could for her.

"Saukra? What is all this?"

"This along with the army filing in behind me,..." Naruto took a look to the door and saw waiters, chiefs, and cartoonist? filing into his parents house. "...is your party."

"Wow, I hope it's all in the budget."

"Sure, they are, but this place on the other hand is going to set you back a lot Naruto." She spoke gazing around. "How'd you find it anyways?"

"It's my parents place, haven't you been here?" Naruto knew the answer already, 'no.'

She smiled shyly, "No, you never..." Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I just never had the time to party in high school." Naruto's smile lost energy as she spoke. Memories of invitations trashed filled his mind.

She unloaded the bags and gave the balloons to a girl with hair tied into tight buns at the nape of her hair. "Thank you Ten Ten, please get them dispersed throughout the house." She handed over the balloons, but still held on to a couple of bags. "So, Mr. Fancy pants house, show me around." Sakura's face was lit up with awe. Her soft smile and shiny eyes, brought a soft smile back to Naruto's lips, she was too cute.

"Sure." Naruto walked slowly unsure how to feel about this walk. He was excited for the attention from Sakura, but nervous about what she would think about his home. He had wanted to her come over a thousand times in high school, and thrown several parties to draw her out, but she never showed. He'd accepted that she didn't like him in that way, and was mostly over it, but a part of him couldn't accept it. He was cool, hot, and successful, what was there not to like?

"This is the kitchen, complete with a center island that makes Texas look small. Three fridges, a freezer, and a built in cook who we call, 'cook', since mom tends to fire them often. Moving on. To the dining room, there is a table and china."

"You don't give tours often do you?" Sakura chuckled a bit.

"Uhhh?" Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"I mean look at the art work in this room. That's what you should be pointing out. It's a Van Gogh right?"

"I never really got into art. Could be real, could be a fake for all I know. Come on let's keep moving."

They took several steps through the room Sakura's eyes scanning each painting for authenticity as they walked. They took a brief stride through the receiving room. Sakura was overly impressed with the size of the living and family rooms. "This is certainly more than enough space to host a big party."

"Yeah, mom has a lot, cause she and dad have business associates over all the time."

"It's comfortable too. We'll have to push the coaches back to the walls."

"I wouldn't bother, my mom will have the butler move them into 'large party formation.'"

"I can take care of things, your mom doesn't need to worry."

"Sure..." Naruto hesitantly agreed as they headed to the solarium.

"So if your parents are so loaded how did you end up driving that junky Kia in High school?"

"My parents believe in earning things. They haven't even given me anything that I didn't absolutely need, and a car is a 'luxury.'"

"What do they do...?"

"Sakura?"

"Tsunade? I haven't seen you since the senior school play."

"What are you doing here, deary?" Tsunade sneered at the girl in the sweetest voice she could.

"Helping Naruto set up for the big celebration. I'm quite the good party planner. I'm really excited. Been waiting a long time for this day haven't we Naruto!"

"Well isn't it nice he has someone of your caliber to take of these things for him." Tsunade did not sound or look to pleased.

"He'd fall apart without me. I'm telling you men are just a bunch of babies, you have to look out for them all the time." Sakura didn't bother to check the other people's mood in the room. She was too overwhelmed with the awesomeness of the house.

"You most certainly do." Her voice was harsh and stern. Naruto felt a bit insulted. Grandma was harsh, but she didn't insult him in front of guest usually.

"Just this morning, he came into the office without a tie on and those infernal chucks. Big meeting with the boss, so luckily I keep a pair of nice dress shoes and a tie for him."

"I'm sure how I dress was no surprise to Mr. Namikaze."

"Naruto has always been quit the handful." She continued without acknowledging his comment.

"I'm still standing here!" Naruto objected to the course of the conversation.

"Yes. Naruto, I thought we talked about stating the obvious?" He grandmother gave him a stern look.

"Naruto? Naruto who are all these... Sakura... it's so nice to see you. You look lovely dear." Naruto's mom entered into the room.

"Mom I thought you were getting dress?" Naruto gave her a worried smile. He did not need his mom overtaking all of Sakura's hard work.

"I am, deary, I just wanted to see what all the noise was. Apparently there is a man in the living area flipping around eggs and meat. Naruto? My lovely boy. Explain please."

"That was my idea, I thought as part of the celebration we should have Habachi!" Sakura beamed a smile at her.

"That's an interesting idea..." Kushina winced a bit. "I could call chief Akimich! He'll be here in seconds, don't you worry deary, this can be fixed. Youth." His mom rolled his eyes and grabbed Sakura's arm dragging her away.

"Whatever happened to that nice Uchiha boy? He was so respectable." Tsunade grumbled.

"Sasuke? You are asking about Sasuke Uchiha. You called Sasuke Uchiha nice?" Naruto chuckled in disbelief.

"But he is very handsome, don't you think so Naruto?"

"Grandma? You do not ask a guy if he thinks another guy is attractive."

"Why ever not?"

"Uhhh..."

"However could you tell if you look attractive if you can't assess the attractiveness of others?"

"Then I suppose he's an attractive guy?" Naruto willed out the words to try and get his Grama off the topping ASAP.

"He'd make a good match."

"If you hit on him Granny I will kill you."

"I've got one foot in the grave already you don't need to push me the rest of the way in."

"Look grams I know you're going through a rough patch, but I think an older man would better suit you."

He then noticed she was looking over his shoulder, this only meant trouble for him. Naruto turned around to see his fiancé.

"Hey what are you doing here?" He walked over casually wondering how long Sasuke had been listening. Naruto looked down as if checking his chucks for dirt remembering confessing that Sasuke was 'attractive', then looked back at the raven.

"I thought I would help you get ready." Sasuke's eye focused completely into the blue ones of Naruto. Naruto gaped a bit.

"Awe that's a sweet boy." Tsunade got up from the table but before she could get to Sasuke, Naruto started pushing the man out the doorway.

"It's all good, your not needed here, all taken care of it, yes sir-reeee."

"Then I can chat with your grandma." Sasuke swirl around leaving Naruto's hands empty and the two people he leasted wanted chatting closer together.

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Naruto spoke softly to himself. "Oooohhh you want to help ME get ready. I have no fashion sense, but Sasuke does so... We will be heading up to my room, where Sasuke and only Sasuke, will help me get dressed." He stared down his gramother who was reching out to take sasuke's hand.

"Of course. I'm sure he's quite good at dressing and undressing" His grandma winked then raised her eyebrows twice as Sasuke.

"Grams less creeper" Naruto mouthed. "Well let's get going, I don't want to be late." Naruto pushed Sasuke upstairs.

-  
>"That was awfully rude. I didn't even get to say hello to your grandma." Sasuke complained.<p>

"And you're welcome." Naruto gave Sasuke a big smile.

"For?" Sasuke asked while furling his brows.

"Grandma was asking about you... She probably was going to hit on you."

"I'm taken." Sasuke stated mater-of-factly.

"Trust me, that has never stopped grandma before."

"So get undressed." Sasuke smirked just a little.

"Excuse me?" Naruto looked at him surprised.

"You wanted me to help you get dressed, which mean you have to be undressed first."

"I can dress myself." Naruto's slightly squeaky voice objected.

"Then why did you ask for my help?"

"To help get you out of Grandma's grasp, pay attention." Naruto hands turned over towards Sasuke as if they were holding a silver platter with the answer on it.

"I was paying attention; she agreed that your fashion taste leaves something wanting. Now get undressed." Sasuke plopped himself down onto Naruto's bed while staring at him the enter time.

"Why do I feel at times you want to see me naked?" Naruto asked while giving Sasuke a questioning look.

"In general, engaged couples want that." As Sasuke spoke those words from the bed, Naruto started to really wonder about Sasuke.

Detering this conversation from going any further seamed the best escape to Nartuo."Just lay something out on the bed, I'll put it on after I shower."

Naruto left Sasuke in his room while he closed the door to the bathroom. He looked at the lock on the door and for a moment eyed it. Sasuke didn't want to see him naked, not for real. He withdrew his hand and started taking off his cloths. As the hot water rushed over his body he thought back on the day. This was his moment of calm, it was about to get very hectic. His mind wandered, then re-circled. How was he going to keep Sakura from being overly pissed at him for stealing 'her' man? And his grandmother...What was with his grandma's tone? It's like she thought Sakura ...was... his fiancé! YES! This solved a lot of things. Sure grandma didn't seem so pleased, but at least Sakura was female. That only left one problem, and he knew exactly who was going to help him.

For those who like to please remember to Review.


	7. Let the Circus Begin

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Boyxboy.. that means gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

-  
>"Kiba, finally, why are you so late?" Naruto assaulted his good buddy.<p>

Kiba looked around at the near empty room. "The party doesn't start for another half hour."

"Really? Seems so crowded in here." Kiba took another look around. He could only see service people, Naruto's mother, Sakura, some crazy old blonde with very large tits, a man he recoginzed as Naruto's lawyer hitting on the old lady, Naruto's father, and of course the other man of the night Sasuke.

"Are you ok man?" Kiba placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder reassuring him.

"I'm about to tell all of Konaha that I'm engaged to a stuck up, emo, asshole, would you be ok?" Naruto's voice explosed in a very hushed tone so that the other people could not hear.

"Good point." Kiba pointed at Naruto as he spoke.

"Ok the reason I called you here tonight."

"I was invited." Kiba shoved the large envelope with his name on it and the overly done invitation combining the Uzamaki swirl with the Uchiha fan into Naruto's hand.

"The reason I called you here now. I need you to keep Sakura, Sasuke, and my grandmother all away from each other."

"Ok... Why? They all get along. Right?" Kiba's head turned sideways while his eyes trailed after something. Naruto turned to see a waitress in a very very short skirt. Was that a thong...? Topic.. must stay on topic. "Kiba," Naruto started bring Kiba's attention back to him. "Sakura, Sasuke, and my grandmother must not talk to each other. Got it? Grandma thinks that I'm engaged to Sakura, Sakura thinks this party is to celebrate Sasuke's and my's business union, and Sasuke has no sense of discresion about the actual union. Get it?"

"Yeah.. I'll go see if they are in the kitchen together."

"No... that's not..." Naruto grabbed at Kiba's suit jacket but it slipped through his fingers just as someone started calling his name.

"Naruto?" Naruto turned to face...

"Sasuke?"

"What time do you want to make the announcement."

"Announcement?"

"Yes, that we are engaged."

"Wasn't that it's an engagement party on the invitation?"

"Yes, but not who's engagement."

"It does too" Naruto pulled out the invitation from the envelope Kiba had shoved in his hand.

"Mr. Minito Nazamaki, Kunishia Uzamaki, Fugaku and Mikoto Uchicha formally invite you to celebrate the announcment of their sons's engagment." Naruto looked at Sasuke like he had finally won one.

"Yes, but my parents have two sons. You could be engaged to Itachi for all these people know."

"You're right that would be completely more feasible," Could Naruto be any more Sarcastic? "I see where the confusing could arise."

"Naruto!" Sakura started tugging on his coat jacket. Naruto tried to act casual looking in her face for any hint that she had heard Sasuke, while hiding the invitation into his coat jacket. Then she stopped tugging on his coat the moment she notice Sasuke.

"Sasuke, you look great." She turned her chin down and rocked her body back and forth slightly to look coy.

"Hn." She smiled at him waiting for a compliment back, but none ever came.

"SAKURA! What?" Naruto waved his hand in front of her face.

"Huh, Oh..." She came out of her Sasuke struck gaze. "Your MOM is Crazy! She's redone my entire party... She even had all the balloons I had brought popped to make sure such a 'childish' decoration would not be in consideration any more. HELP me!"

"At nine, Sasuke." He called back as Sakura dragged him towards his Mother.

"What is at nine?" She questioned.

"When we should get all these people the Hell out of here." Oh yes, if no one was there for the announcement, then no one would know.

"That's a bit early deary, it's a Friday." his mother chipped in. He just couldn't win one little victory could he?

"Naruto did you tell this poor girl that she was throwing a Birthday party? Why is their a clown here?"

"That man is not a clown. He is a cartoonist."

"He certainly is dressed like a clown." Kunishia retorted.

Naruto looked over to the man in the bright red Jacket, tied dyed shirt, and ripped blue jeans. Of course his mother would think that he was a 'clown.' "Mom artist dress crazy, let it go."

"Fine, then could you do me a favor and call up these waiters, Honey?"

"What is wrong with the waiters I hired?" Sakura fisted her hands down at her side.

"They all look like hookers! Why would any gay..."

"MOM. Mom. The girls are just fine, we don't want anyone getting upset here."

"Of course, Sasuke would prefer that." His mother chuckled. Sakura look downright fuming. "I just don't understand why you didn't hire a proper party planner."

"I was going to Mother, but Sakura volunteered. Wasn't that nice of her?" He emphasized the word 'nice.'

"That's fine for a Birthday party, but for your..."

"Merging party... " Naruto interjected "I know mom, really big day, lots of important people...We'll just go have a talk over here get it all straightened out. " Naruto grabbed both sides of Sakura's arms and walked her away from his mother.

"Naruto let go of me! I can't believe that woman! I'm not done with her!"

"Trust me. It's time I separated you two."

"I can't believe her, insinuating that Sasuke would want some trampy waitress." Naruto frowned a bit. Was she only upset that Mother implied that Sasuke would want one of the waitresses instead of her?

"I promise you that's not what she meant." Naruto checked out the long flowing red Dress Sakura had changed into since the last time he had seen her. It was really classy, she looked great.

"Then what did she..."

"Naruto. There is my Man." Jiraiya clamped his hand down onto Naruto's back and shook him. "I love all the hot waitresses. Really, makes it classy!" Jiraiya walked off chasing one of the larger titted girls.

"I better go stop him." Naruto left Sakura alone chasing after the old man but before he could reach the pervert his grandmother pulled on the tails of his coat jacket.

"There you are deary. Come here. This fine young gentleman brought me the finest of wine. Why did you not introduce us earlier."

"Neji."

"The wine was for you.. and Sa..."

"Sandwiches." Naruto finished the word.

"What?" His grandmother asked puzzled.

"For when I eat sandwiches.. it's a passion Neji knows of mine. Guess I didn't fall to far from the apple tree, eh grams... Ok got to go."

Naruto took a scan around the room. Serval people were now filing in, there coats being taken by the butler. He kept looking until he finally found his target. A few strides nearly got him there.

"Naruto."

"Itachi. I believe these are for you and Sasuke. Clearly no one believes he would have the guts to propose."

Itachi handed over several envelops. "Now if you'll excuse me. That waitress has been eyeing me, all night."

"It's not even seven yet."

"I meant will be pleasuring me all night. Have a nice party."

Naruto took a look at the blonde bombshell. He'd certainly fuck her too. Damn.

Back to on target. "Kiba!" His friend got slapped by one of the waitresses and a tray of food plungded into his face.

"That better not have been the caviar."

"Dude I was so closer to landing that one, why did you disrupt my game?"

"You have to stay with my grandma. Neji is going to..."

"She is a bit older, but she does have nice tits. If the pipes need a cleaning then I'll get her singing."

"WHOA. NO. I did not mean hit on my..."

"Naruto."

"Mr. Yamato. It's so great to see you." The man handed Naruto an envelope.

"Uhhh thanks?"

"Just a little somethin' to help you guys get started. I'm sure your parents help a lot to and my daughter tells me you're going to be starting a company?"

"Buying one out. Got big plans for it too. Reworking their manufacturing. Going to bring it all back to Konaha, really help out the local economy, and if I've done all my numbers right, which I always do, actually end up saving about 25% over what they are spending now."

"Excellent. Sounds like you've got it all worked out."

"Just more details." Naruto's eyes wandered over to his grandma. 'Did she just pull her skirt up a bit.. OMG... no KiBA.' "If you'll excuse me..."

Naruto rush over to the table with Kiba and his Grandma. "Hey Grams, I see you met Kiba, great guy, but you have to watch out, he is a boyfriend stealer. Just the other day at the gym he had the balls to hit on this super muscled out instructor's man, Haku. Given Haku is very beautiful. If you didn't know you might think he wasn't a boy.. Oh grams I'm sorry am I making you uncomfortable?"

"So you like men, Kiba? So do I." Interjected Neji.

"A table full of fags. If you'll excuse me there is nothing of use to me here."

"Grams there's no need to..."

"What the Hell Naruto, she was totally into me."

"Kiba my Grams is off limits, the code dude, the code, why would you hit on her?"

"I can't help it if the ladies are attracted to me."

"I have to go." Naruto trailed after his grandmother. "Grams, Grams...Let me explain."

"Explain what deary.. Oh there is Sasuke again he did a lovely job of dressing you." She waved her hand in Sasuke's direction who started to walk over.

"He didn't dress me Old Hang."

"Excuse me young man?"

"Grams..."

"That better."

"Young lady, I've been meaning to meet Naruto's grandmother all night would you happen to know where I could find her?" Sasuke gave his grams a coy smile. Could Sasuke be any more annoying?

"Oh ho ho, young man you are quite the charmer. When are you going to find a fiancé of your own?"

"I have one."

"Damn. I was hoping you wanted to sew a few more wild oats."

"I've never been much of a tailor."

"You're clever. If only Sakura was cleverer like you."

"Sakura?"

"Grams there's no need to be mean."

"So Sasuke, where is this mystery girl of yours?"

"Girl?"

"Gram's if you'll excuse us for just .. a... moment..." Naruto pulled and tugged but Sasuke had planted his feet.

"I haven't answered your Grandmother's question yet."

"Yes, I realize that, but I need to talk to you riiight now!"

"If you'll excuse us."

Naruto was finally able to pull Sasuke to the side.

"Sasuke."

"Don't stand too close." Sasuke suddenly said.

"What?"

"You don't want to ruin the surprise."

"What surprise?"

"That we are the one's engaged. People love surprises."

"Itachi is off banging one of the waitresses, I think the surprise is over."

"Just because he cheats on you doesn't mean you can't be engaged."

"What? Are you going to cheat on me?"

"Never."

"Funny considering the arrangement,... anyways.." a great thought suddenly sprung to Naruto's mind. "Surprise.. Oh.. I totally get it.. yeah.. you should defiantly not tell anyone we are the ones engaged."

"You agree with me?"

"Yes. One hundred percent."

"Maybe it is a bad idea."

"Huh?"

"Your sarcasm has made me reconsider. I don't want to insult people's intelligence, you're right Naruto, It's obvious you aren't engaged to Itachi. I'll be sure to let everyone know that you are not with that dirty cheating brother of mine."

"But I'm not with him so he can't be cheating on me... wait Sasuke! Don't walk away..."

Sasuke got just out of arms reach when "Naruto."

"Mr. Tobi."

"If I was fifty years younger I'd marry you myself. Sasuke is a lucky boy."

"Uh.. yeah, really lucky?" An envelope was slipped into his hand.

"You boys put that to good use, I don't want to hear about you paying off the eastern coast gaurd after a good night on the sea." The smirk on the old's man's face said otherwise. That he would be interested in a high sea sexcandel.

"Thanks. I'll be sure to do that. I have to go." He looked over the room again. Grandma, hitting on Gaara, Sakura pulling her hair out, Sasuke talking to Judge Senju. "Ok everything is ok, right now."

A hand clasped down on his shoulder. "Naruto." He looked over to the older mirror image of himself.

"Dad." He smiled.

"I know that your excited about the party and your engagement, but this is an opportunity to make connections. You're growing up. I know in the past you would prefer to over drink and end up in some corner with Sasuke, but now that you're going to be married it's time to act like a man. These events are boring, but it's where important connections are made. This is the perfect time to start your future. See that man over there."

"Uh yeah... Tobirama Senju right? He's related to Judge HashiramaSenju."

"Good I see you paid a little attention while we forced you to these insufferable events."

"Hey that's how mom described them not me!"

"And she still loves every moment of them."

"What about him?"

"Do you remember what he does?"

"Something with silicone?"

"He etches high grade silicone... think you might benefit from a good alliance?"

"Yeah...uhhh..."

"That guy over there..." Minito pointed to a guy about ten feet away. He was older and looked like he has recently under gone some eye surgery.

"No idea."

"Danzō Shimura. I'd watch your back with him. Pulled the carpet out of five electronic companies in ast many years."

"So avoid him?"

"No. But never trust him, and never enter in trade with him. He's got sharks for lawyers."

"Right."

"Minito!" Naruto's mother's voice was full of warning.

"Darling." Minito planted a big kiss on his wife.

"Ewe, Dad, no one wants to see that."

"How do you think you were born."

"More ewe. Stop."

"Anyways, Minito, stop coaching Naruto on who's who." Minito gave her an look of surprise.

"I wasn't..."

"Lie to me and that will be the last kiss you get tonight, Mr." Her fiery eyes were narrowed into her husbands.

"Ok... you go enjoy the party Naruto. I'll go make the business connections for you." He winked at his wife and wandered off toward the Senjus grabbing a cream puff from a plate on his way.

"Thanks mom, but you know I think he's got a point, I can't avoid those boring people out there forever."

"Well, good thing I know exactly how to make them a bit more fun. Sakura has convinced me to keep these wonderful cubes of J-E-L-L-O." She sang the last part.

"How many have you had mom?"

"Oh about ten."

He started following her to the kitchen. Just as they entered they heard a growl, heard a bone crunching punch and saw Kiba flying down to the floor.

"You touch me again and I'll sue you." The brunette turned tail, pulled off her tiny apron, stormed past Naruto and his mother, and went stomping out the door.

"Kiba?" Naruto sprung over to his friend to help him up. "Can someone in here get me some ice?" Naruto yelled out.

"That was totally worth it." Kiba's eye's closed and his body went limp.

Who's boss? ME. I totally punched out 3 chapters today! Yeah… but… you have to review to get them. Muh ha ha ha.. But seriously it would be nice if you left me a little note.


	8. Let the Curtain fall

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Boyxboy.. that means gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

"Hey." Kiba's dopey face smiled up to the friend's sitting next to him. "You're pretty."

"You're conscious again." Naruto responded.

"That girl knock the straight out of you?" Kiba turned his head on the pillow it was laying on.

"Shino!"

"That's Dr. Aburame." A man leaning limpy aside the wall smirked down. His eyes were hidden from view by the large sunglasses he always wore, but it was obvious he was glad his longtime friend had awoken.

"Yeah yeah.. doctor of bugs."

"I still took plenty of human medicine classes, I just found the biology of insect more interesting."

Kiba tried to sit up but his eyes went all wobbly. "Whoa there buddy. Down boy. You need to stay horizontal."

"Now who's being gay?"

"I am engaged to a guy."

"The party? You should be out there."

Naruto looked down at his watch over forty minutes had past. Forty minutes where he had no idea who had said what to who, or who was talking to who about since he was stuck in the kitchen with his idiot second bestest friend. His mom in the meanwhile had forced the serving staff into new outfits, she had magically appeared from "the basement."

"No way man, Shino said you probably suffered a concussion."

"I'm fine. Help me up." Naruto pulled on the hand. His friend offered.

"See totally good now."

"Alright stay in here. Shino I need your help. I need you to distract my grandma and get her out of the room by nine."

"No way Nartuo! I'm not abandoning my post." Kiba protested.

Naruto checked his watch once more. "Ok huddle up. We've got about a half hour. Shino, get my man here up and walkable. Kiba once you can stand go hit on my grandma like she's the last woman that would ever sleep with you."

"Which is probably true." Shino interjected.

"Hey!"

"What are you going to do?" Kiba asked.

"I'm going to send Sakura on a wild goose chase."

They all put their hand down atop each other. "Go team!"

Naruto entered the main room again like a boss. It had gotten very crowed, but he made his way around the parameter. His grandmother seemed to have a long haired blond boy talking to her now.

"Naruto."

"Asuma" He looked at his old teacher with surprise. next to him was a lovely lady that looked ready to pop.

"This is my wife. Kurenai."

"Wow, you're really pregnant."

"Yeah. Are you and Sasuke going to adopt?"

"Adopt? Sasuke and me?"

"I assume, since you two were so close in high school you would be engaged to him, but its Itachi then?" Asuma explain.

"Oh yeah, no, it's Sasuke, I'm engaged to Sasuke... to Sasuke, like you said."

"Well the invitation wasn't perfectly clear."

"Yeah, uh, my bad... kids... we haven't talked about that. So no.. no kids."

"I guess being gay you accepted that a long time ago then? Or did you never want kids?" his wife interjected.

"Is it getting stuffy in here?" Naruto started feeling really hot. People really were taking this serious. Why was it everyone thought he and Sasuke were such an obvious couple? "I'm going to go open a window, or step outside."

"No worries, just clam down. I was nervous to before the announcement too." Kurenai gave him a sweet smile of reassurance.

"Thanks. If you'll excuse me."

Naruto ran his hand through his hair. Was he insane? He couldn't do this. He made a B-line for the door and stepped outside.

The air was cool there, but it didn't stop his heart from racing. 'How long did this union even have to last? Why did he rush into it so fast? Why was Sasuke so calm about it?' So many questions raced through his mind. He sat against the white ledge that ran down the intricate stair case leading to the long drive way up to the house. The bushes from behind stabbed a bit at his back. His mother would yell at the gardeners soon.

A car pulled up. The valet opened the door of the white Farrai. A girl with long black hair stepped out of the car. She wore a soft purple dress. He didn't need her to turn around to know who it was, but he took a deep breath in as she did. Her pale eyes, were calming. Hinata had always been in his corner, ever since he cheered for her during the 4th grade spelling bee against her cousin, Neji.

"Hey there."

"Hiiiii -iii iii Nar.. u too."

"It's a cold night to be out in such a short dress."

"Naarrr.. u to Stop fliirting. I know yyyouu are engaged." She breathed in.

"Yeah. You turned me down. Well technically you passed out."

She lowered her head and blushed. "I've always known how you felt about SaaAsuke. I'm gl-ad you've reaa liz ed it too."

"People keep saying that."

"My cousin is exPect-ing me."

"The door awaits you my lady."

Naruto watched the shy girl go in. 'How I feel about Sasuke? Pfft... that he's the biggest bastard the world has ever seen.'

He took a deep breath in, Sasuke would be great to talk to, not fiancé Sasuke, the prior to engagement Sasuke. They were best friends after all. A quick glance to his watch told him he only had seven more minutes until the big announcement was officially made. He looked up to the sky. "Alright universe, looks like it's time."

He ducked into the back of the room. Standing on his tippy toes, he noticed his grandmother was gone from the table. "Good" He pumped his fist near his chest at Kiba's success. And as fate would have it Sakura passed in front of him that moment. Maybe talkie to the Universe was a good thing.

"Sakura"

"What? I'm really busy." She sounded annoyed.

"You changed clothes?" She now had on a low cut red dress that barely covered her personal areas."

"Get to your point Naruto." She announced point very clearly to emphasize she didn't want to waste time with him.

"It's near nine, maybe you could start helping guests leave?"

"What? This party is jiving Naruto. You don't want to kick people out right when it's getting into its groove." She rolled her eyes. "You love the scene... go be scene."

Naruto cooed for a second, why did she always have to use words in such a cute way? Sakura snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Hello? Anything else you want?"

"Ughh.. My grandma.. I don't know where she's gone..."

Sakura took a quick glance around. "She's right there."

"WHAT?" Universe you failed me!

"Where is Kiba?"

She looked around again.

"Talking to Hinata over there."

"I'm going to kill him!"

"What why? I've got to go." Waved her hands in the air implying she didn't want to know.

"Huh.. no wait... He promised to help get grandma up to her room, she's really drunk. She protests alot, saying she's fine, but she's ready to puke all over the place."

"Ewe, Nartuo, why are you telling me this?" Sakura whined.

"Cause I want to ask you a favor... Would you mind? Taking her upstairs?" He gave her a cheesy grin.

"Let me get this right. You want me, Saukura Hanaru the most beautiful girl in Konaha, to take your old, ugly, drunk grandma, upstairs when she's ready to puke? Did I mention this lady seams to hate me too?"

"Pffttt.. there's no reason she would hate you." Naruto made a dismissing motion with his hand.

"And helping her out would make a great impression on her. So if you could... you know..."

"You owe like the biggest raise ever after this." She walked off. He tried to make it through the crowd himself. A hand on his waist was startling.

"Hello lover." A deep voice whispered into his ear.

"Sasuke... !?"

"What?" Sasuke's arm snaked all the way around him and he brought their bodies against one another.

"You scared me. It's so crowded in here." Naruto said just as someone bumped into them, but Sasuke kept him steady. "Hey, can we like go to the library? Away from all these people. I need... I need my friend, Sasuke Uchiha, I'm stressing out." Sasuke linked their hands together and commanded their way through the sea of people. Naruto shut the door by walking back into it once they were both inside. The sounds of the crowed muffled and Sasuke propped himself on the wall next to the blond.

"Hn?"

Naruto leaned his head onto Sasuke's shoulder and breathed out.

"I'm about to announce to the world I'm getting married."

"Yes, you're engaged so what's the big deal?"

"I'm engaged to a guy."

"Still not seeing a problem. Is the sex bad?" Naruto gave Sasuke's side a small punch.

"We're waiting." Sasuke looked at him surprised. "You of all people have to believe me, Bastard."

"I'm fine with you being gay." Sasuke smiled.

"You're fine with gays but...Well you're all liberal and stuff, but they… them in there, are not."

"You mean your grandma. I have a large stack of envelopes saying the rest of the people are fine with us."

"Yeah... but..."

"She might surprise you."

"And Sakura." Naruto added in.

"What about her?" Sasuke rolled his eyes a bit.

"She doesn't know." Naruto whined out.

"She's throwing this party. Why didn't you tell her?" Sasuke's voice actually raised.

"Cause I'm engaged to the boy she loves." Naruto shrugged his shoulders, but the one on the left simply hit into Sasuke's.

"Naruto, Sakura doesn't love me, she loves my family's money."

"Oh and I'm all that better? I'm engaged to get money too."

"It's not my money you want."

"Some of it is."

"Well I'm marrying you for your money too so it's even. Our business plan only works if we both have our trust funds."

"Still..."

"And you have a dick. Sakura doesn't have one of those to offer me."

Naruto chuckled.

"We're lieing, to a lot of people now."

"Marriage is a business contract, we are going to be in business together. You are my partner Naruto, whether we are married or not. If people assign love, sex, or the sanctity of God to it then it's their own fault for being deceived. This marriage is whatever we want it to be, while we're in it."

They stayed in silence, Sasuke's logic soaked into Naruto. It wasn't entirely a lie. It was them.

"Thanks. I think I'm ready."

"Good cause it's nine."

Sasuke gave him a peck on the head, then grabbed his hand and helped Naruto stand away from the door. "We'll be fine." Sasuke reassured him. Naruto trailed behind Sasuke as he wove them between people once again.

"Why do you feel like a real fiancé?" Naruto asked, but Sasuke could no longer hear him.

Naruto's Dad's hit the side of his glass loudly.

"Most of know why we are here but I'd like to let the boys make an official announcement: Naruto, Sasuke"

Naruto was dragged in front of the crowd by Sasuke. He felt like he could barely breath. So many people were looking at him. To the right was the kitchen with a mob of people blocking all the way to the door to the left, dining tables. All the people had turned to face the pair... including Sakura and his Grandmother. "Fuck."

"Naruto! Everyone can hear you." Sasuke whispered. Naruto looked up to him and smiled, then wandered his eyes back to that table. Sakura seemed to be trying to pull at his grandmother's arm, who was being stubborn and planting her feet into the chair. He glanced around and found Kiba. Then shifted his eyes over to his grandmother. Then back and forth. Kiba simply gave him a thumbs up as he tried to put an arm around Hinata.

"Well, Naruto seems for once not to be able to speak." The crowd laughed. When Sasuke spoke up Sakura dropped Tsunade's arm and stood at full attention. 'Double fuck.'

"So I'm not one for a lot of words. I think you all know why were are here. I'd like to thank you all for contributing to the cause." Sasuke tapped his chest where the envelopes were stored.

The crowd laughed again and Sakura gave him the thumbs up.

"So here is it is, Naruto and I are engaged to be married!" Naruto could barely see the joy leaving Sakura's face and his grandmother shouting out, "Oh thank GOD," as Sasuke grabbed and dipped Naruto into a kiss. As the pale man parted his lip Naruto in shock let himself get frenched. His stomache turned over like it rarely did. The people all cheer. Glasses clinked together and when Naruto was solidly back on his feet he saw them all toasting the announcement. That is all but one girl who was running out the door.

A firm grip held Naruto in place. "You can't run off right after announcing our engagement. Let her go, there will be time to talk to her later." Soft lips captured his once more, and the crowd "awed."

Thanks for reading, and thanks to those who leave reviews.

This time I'd like some help. I need suggestions for their wedding song. So if you could drop some songs I'll pick the one I feel fits the most, or take a poll in the future.

Thanks again!


	9. Declarations

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Language! I use several swear words in this chapter so if you find them offending… Time to skip. Boyxboy.. that means gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

Naruto got to his office early Monday morning. He didn't want to walk past Sakura's desk ever again. He was humiliated. She hadn't exactly left immediately after the announcement, just as Sasuke had said. Most guests didn't linger longer than they needed to give their final congratulations.

He closed his eyes remembering the damn conversation he overheard. All he wanted was a glass of water but no... that had to happen...

_"Sasuke don't do this. Don't marry Naruto." Sakura begged._

_"Why ever not? It's a prudent match."_

_"Prudent match? Do you hear yourself? Sasuke marriage is for people who are in love. Who feel strong about each other."_

_"Naruto and I have strong feelings for each other."_

_"Yes hate, but I mean love. Like how I feel about you. I love you, Sasuke Uchiha. I know you love me too. So tell me why are you doing this?" Sakura's voice was unsure and wavered on the verge of tears._

_"Sakura, what's in your head that you think I'm in love with you?" As usual Sasuke had a cool tone._

_"I've never seen you give any other girl affection."_

_"Sakura, this marriage is mutually beneficial for both him and I. My father approves of this marriage. In what world does marrying a secretary benefit me?" Sasuke's voice started to sound bored to Naruto. It wasn't the newest conversation between the pair, it simple had a new twist._

_"Sasuke look past the numbers, your family obligations, money and into your heart. How do you feel about me?" Sakura pleaded in desperation_

_"As I've always felt, however, I have made a commitment I intend to keep. Plus, it's very beneficial for me."_

_"How does Naruto Uzamki benefit you? He's a nobody. He has no place in high society so tell me how are he and I different?"_

_"Besides the obvious? This is his home, his parents own two of the biggest upcoming companies in the country? Or has your gold digging brain not put that together yet because you only see the loser from high school?" _

_"He is...was a loser and apparently he's still not getting any help form the parents, so..."_

_"Do you know why? He had to do everything on his own merits, he didn't get to throw his parents cash around like every other trust fund baby at our school. Which already makes him better than you." Sasuke's voice had moved to condescending. _

_"I've had to earn my way since..." Sasuke cut her off again._

_"But know what else makes him better? He has a degree from the most prestigious university in the world, he is a VP of U Make Clothing. Who the fuck are you? His underling. If you'll excuse me I have more, what did you call them? High society members to mingle with."_

Naruto knew the confrontation couldn't have an easy situation to handle, Sasuke was always eloquent with words, so too the point. Not like Naruto. He talked from his heart, whatever he knew as truth at the moment.

How could she want him when he was so unfeeling? That one line. What the hell was that: "As I've always felt?" Was Sasuke's desire to please his father keeping him from Sakura? Naruto knew that this was an arrangement for the sake of their business, it would make the acquisition possible. But was it what Sasuke really wanted? Was business more important than love? His father had always pushed him, compared him to Itachi and Sasuke hated it. He had to prove himself, just like Naruto did.

She couldn't leave after that, no, as if over hearing that wasn't enough, Sakura needed one more show down. And she got it, well after Sasuke had left along with all the other guests. With no one left to protect him, that was when Sakura attacked him. He had just finished checking that everyone had left, but she was in the dining room staring at the Van Gogh.

_"You lied to me."_

_"Yeah it's a fake you know. The original is in some French Museum." He looked into her sullen green eyes, and hated himself a little when he saw the black smudge marks around her eyes. He didn't know if it was from crying after talking to Sasuke or after the announcement, either way it killed him. _

_"You lied to me Naruto and had me throw you an engagement party. Is this some kind of sick revenge for turning you down all those years? Steal the man I love and make me celebrate it? Only a monster like you would stoop so low. Are you black mailing him? He'd never be attracted to a piece of trash like you." She took a few steps over and slapped Naruto across the face._

_Naruto bite his lip while touching his check. He deserved it, but she needed to understand what was really going on too. "No Sakura, you've got this all wrong, you're the only person I didn't lie to tonight."_

_"What? Fuck off." She clenched her fist and through a punch. Naruto stepped aside. "Stand funking still so I can hit you!" She shouted out._

_"I deserved the slap, Sakura, for not telling you beforehand what was really going on, but I'm not going to let you beat me up." He growled back._

_"You're a piece of shit, Naruto, always have been, I'll expose you to Sasuke. I'll find out what you have over him." Her death ray eyes stared straight at him accusing him of the utmost evil. _

_"It's fake Sakura, the engagement. I have to get married in order to get my inheritance from my mom's mom. I have to have the inheritance to get the money to buy out the company with Sasuke. So this is actually a celebration of our business partnership, nothing more."_

_"Is that the same lie you told him? WOW that's the biggest load of horse shit I've ever heard, at least own up to being an asshole for once! You are just manipulating him again." She started to leave._

_"No, wait," Naruto chased after her and pulled on her arm. She turned around and slapped him again. "God stop. I would never do that. I Love you. I always have."_

_"So why didn't you ask me?" Her eyes flickered with anger._

_"I did you turned me down." Naruto shook his head in disbleif. How could he get through to her?_

_"You never mentioned any money." _

_His eye's narrowed, what did that mean? "I want it to be real between us, Sakura. I couldn't marry you for money? You'd marry me for money?"_

_She hesitated. "No, of course not. I would only marry for love."_

_"And you will, I know it's not going to be me, now. I really fucked up any chance of that after this. That's what I like about you, you wouldn't' do something stupid like this. You'll get him. The guy that deserves you." Naruto let go of her arm._

_"Him? Sasuke?" She said with hope._

_"Someone, Sasuke is a basketcase. I don't know why you want him."_

_"Sure you don't. I don't know if I believe you." _

_"Ask Sasuke, ask Kiba, for fucks sake, they'll tell you. It's all fake. And once Sasuke and I have the money secured, we'll get a divorce ok?" Naruto reassured her._

_"Whatever. This isn't over Naruto." She huffed out then walked off. A few minutes later her arms were full when Naruto saw her leave the mansion._

_"What have I done?"_

A soft knock at the door sprung Naruto from his flashback. "Come in?"

A dark haired man with eye's just as dark walked in. His skin was tanned with old age. "Naruto Uzamaki, soon to be Naruto Uchiha?"

"Actually we're both keeping our names, Mr. Tobirama Senju." Naruto went around his desk to meet the Elderly man. They shook hands. Naruto took a quick peek out the glass window adjacent to the door which over looked the hallway. Sakura was out there sending death wishes his way. Was that a mini doll of him? He let go of the blinds.

"How modern of you. It might confuse the school teachers." Naruto chuckled at the comment.

"We haven't dicussed kids, but I suspect there is something you would like to discuss?" The man started walking into the room at a slow pace.

"That there is. Your father was very insistent that I come and see you about your acquisition." Naruto shut the door and quickly walked back to his chair and waited for his companion to get to the desk. He tilted his head to the side to check up on Sakura, she had the little doll in her hand and was puncturing it brutally with a needle straight in the heart while glaring at him.

He whipped his head back to the elder gentleman. "Well hopefully that doesn't mean you're trying to buy them out before we can." Naruto gave a cheesy smile to the man.

"Hmmm... you have a sharp mind like your father. Looking out for threats." Naruto flashed his eyes over to Sakura to see her pulling the arms off of the doll. "I'm far too old to start a new venture and have less children than your father too follow up on them."

"Sorry to hear that." Naruto expressed with concern.

"I do however, wish to keep my income steady for the remainder of my days. Wouldn't want the wife to ring my neck." Sakura started twisting the head of the doll with a glint of delight in her eyes.

"You want us to contract our silicone chips to you." Naruto predicted where the interaction was going. The man finally reached the chair across from Naruto and sat down.

"Good, cutting right to the chase." Nartuo looked back out the window. Sakura had taken out some scissors and was nipping away at the headless, armless doll's nether region, Naruto winced.

He got up walked to the blinds and closed them. "Alright, let's talk numbers."

From: 

To , Sai , , KibaDooog , DrBugguy , ShakaShika , WindofSand , Ten10 

Hey guys,

Great news, a potential business contact what to take Sasuke, me, and friends out to coherece us into doing business together. Let's go have a great time on this guy's bill. Lols. Meet up at The Sage Toad at 9pm.

~Naruto

PS Ino please invite Sakura.

"Mr. Senju, you made it. Great. This is my business partner, and finance, as you know, Sasuke Uchiha." The younger Uchiha son shook hands with the man.

"Strong hand shake. Bet you're the top, this one's hand shake was like a wet fish." He pointed his thumb at Naruto.

"Hey, my hand shake is..." The man gave stared him down daring him to argue further. "Fine whatever, that doesn't mean he tops."

"But I do." Sasuke interject. Naruto gave him the stop it look. "I hear you're going to give us a great deal on silicone, but your manufacturing is overseas."

"Let's grab a table. Our staff will join in a bit. Wanted you to get to know my man here first." Naruto slapped Sasuek on the back and rocked his back a bit.

"Youth, so eager for the wrong thing. I came here to watch some hot girls dance, while the wife doesn't know, business can wait until the morning." The dirt old man whipped out a stack on one dollar bills. "I'm sitting at the stage, no offense boys."

"Oh trust me, only Sasuke here doesn't like to watch that!" They both laugh while Sasuke glared. 'Take that bastard, now who tops!'

"But you're a taken man." Mr. Senju warned Naruto.

"I still have a few weeks of freedom, neh?" Naruto nudged Sasuke's shoulder, who just shook his head slightly and rolled his eyes.

They found a seat on the bar where Tobirama could easily reach the girls to place dollars into unspeakable places. He had gotten one on each leg and another dancing on a pole in front of him. Sasuke and Naruto sat next to him, but they hadn't come quite as prepared as the old man so the girls were not giving them much of a show. But Naruto was sure enjoying himself anyways. The dancer was wearing a sparkly blue bra and panties. She hugged the pole with her legs and humped it all the way down until she did a twirl at the bottom.

"Naruto," Naruto was startled away from the show. Sakura put her head between the two sitting boys. "You sure know how to pick a classy place to take our clients. Your education is really paying off." Sakura pressed her lips together and smiled. Ino trailed behind her grabbing one arm which kept her from getting too close to the golden haired man.

"Mr. Tobirama Senju's choice." Naruto turned away from the show. He was disappointed with her attitude. She never trusted him, it was only about Sasuke.

"You still owe me that raise." Sakura sneared, while crossing her arms.

"If you start stripping," Naruto stood up in front of her. "I promise you'll get one. OOOWWEEE Sasuke!" Naruto grabbed at the hand pinching his rib cage before turning to punch Sasuke who easily grabbed the hand, yanked him in, turned him about, and planted him on Sasuke's own lap. Naruto immediately started protesting, until he saw Sakura's fist read to blow. Naruto took Sasuke hands and shielded his face. "You wouldn't want to miss and hit Sasuke." He pleaded.

"Sakura," A pale hand grabbed hernfist. "Keep your clothes on, we're trying to impress the client, not scare him off." The monotone voice from behind the girls spoke up.

"Sai!" Nartuo waved to get Tobirama's attention away from the dancing girls. "Mr. Tobirama this is my director of art." Mr. Tobirama's expression didn't change and his focus wandered over to Sakura in her sparkly pink dress.

"Some of the other patrons might still mistake her as a hooker though." Sasuke whispered into Naruto's ear. Naruto nudged his elbow into the raven's stomach.

"Be nice." he whispered back.

"Can we get you a drink Ms?" Tobirama inquired Sakura's name.

"Ms. Hanaru, but you can call me Sakura. I'll take anything that comes in pink." She smirked back at Naruto, as if she had won something.

"And when is your show starting?" Sakura's eye widened as she realized why Tobirama was so nice to her.

"I'll be over there, with the decent people." She stormed off dragging Ino and Sai with her, Bumping past the newly arrived Kiba and mysterious red head they all knew as Gaara.

Kiba howled so loud it could be heard across the room as he nudged the equally excited blond next to him. The girls, led by Sakura, sat in the back with Sai. "Can you believe them?" Tenten rolled her eyes. "What's so great about those girls? God they are getting more money thrown at them in one night than I get all week!"

"Theeeey may throw money at those bitches, buut they'lllll never marrry themmmm." Sakura slurred out.

"You're one to talk, Ms. Single single single." Ino pointed out.

"I could be married if I wanted." Sakura pouted.

"To who Lee?" Ino splutter out.

"Nartuo!" Sakura put both hands in the air.

"That ship has sailed sweet heart." Sai swayed his head while speaking.

"Pllllllffftttttt... liike I wanted that trash. Thatsss why I said 'could have', I'm saaaving myself." She spoke like a princess.

"Sauke's never gonna wanna hit you." Sai countered

"WHY?... I can't understand it. Sasu-kun has always been so sweet to me." She made a large pointing gesture to herself. "He bring me gifts, and takes me out."

"On dates?" Ino doubted.

"Well, not like on Friday night... he has game night with Naruto Friday nights... but out to lunch... like when Naruto's been busy. But he's always sending me nice bags, and stuff from his mother's clothing line."

"Did it ever occur to you, that his mother bestowed upon him these articles and he didn't have anyone else to give them too?" Sai pulled back a bit to look into her eyes while he spoke.

"No... that's not possible. Sasuke looooooves me. He doesn't look at any other girls." Sakura protested.

"I've gotten three of those bags." Ino objected.

"I've even gotten one." Tenten muttered.

"Sakura, he just announced his engagement to a man. I think he's gay." Sai disputed.

"No... Naru-To told me.. it's so that he can get some kind of inheratance from his dad's mom's mom mom or some shiit, then they'llll get a swift divorce- ee-poo riiight after, but I seeeee through his trickery, he's trying to keep my Sasuke-wastky from me."

"Sakura, you are really fucked up." Ino touched her face in amazment.

"I know! I'm so drink."

"That's not what she meant." Sai sighed. "I mean Sasuke's done a number on you. He has you so trained to focusing on him, you completly missed the real prize."

"Prize?" Sakura doubted.

Sai spoke out like an announcer. "The man of the hour." Sai gestured over to the counter where Naruto was trying to fondle some girls tits, while Sasuke was pulling him back.

"Konaha's true most eligible bachelor, well that was until last night, cause he's off the market, ladies" The girl on stage turned to Sasuke, Sakura suddenly felt a rush of jealousy. The exotic dancer pointed at both Naruto and Sasuke.

Sai continued. "You and Sasuke..." The dancer's mouth made the words 'really?' and 'Kiss' "...have been battling it out for the one, the only ... Naruto Uzamaki" Sasuke reached up to Naruto's chin and pulled the man towards to meet lips. They kissed for a bit. Sasuke hand intertwined into golden locks and Sakura imagined that she didn't see his tongue dive into Naruto's mouth. Naruto pulled away quickly once it was done while Sasuke lingered. Sai changed his voice to a darker tone, "since the day you all met."

"Naruto? Naruto is a loooser, he's ugly, poor as dirt, and mean mean mean." Sakura pouted like a 2 year old.

Sai violently grabbed Sakura's head and pointed it straight at the blond man.

"Oh really? Let me draw you a picture. Let me tell you why Sasuke's eyes haven't left Naruto's body alone all night. Take a look at just Naruto's body.."

"EWWWEEEE..."

"Sakura, look." Sai insisted.

She steadied herself as best she could. "Look at him. His perfect broad shoulders, but not bulky, his thin waist line, that round perfect ass that I would fuck myself if I didn't' like to bottom so much.

"Aaaaaahhh, Sai did not need to hear that!" Ten Ten

"Are you looking?"

"Kay, I looked, he's got a niiice.. buuild.. but his skin.."

"You mean that perfectly sun kissed tan, blemish free face, chiseled check bones, big blue eyes. and now look at that perfect hair, bet he pays over three-hundred dollar just for the cut and other 250 for the coloring."

"There's no way he can afford..."

"You really don't know who Naruto is, do you?"

"I don't know, a son of some company owners? I've never heard of the Uzamaki corp."

"Uh huh. U. make clothing... Guess what the U stands for."

"Pffftttt as if. It's not Uzamaki."

"Naruto's mom is female activist K Uzamaki and fathered by Minito Namikazi, who named the company for his girlfriend so that she would agree to marry him."

"What!"

"You work for the man and you didn't know? Wow, I mean I know they've been playing it down, but it's not like it was some deep dark family secret."

"She's just that dense." Ino interjected.

"Dilutional." Corrected Ten Ten.

"But why? Nazikazi own one of the most powerful corporations in this city..."

"You never thought it odd that Naruto got such a good job out of college?" Ten Ten questioned.

"I thought Sasuke got it for him." Sakura resigned a bit.

"No, his parents didn't want him growing up with people chasing his money, and they didn't want a spoiled brat. Naruto had to earn everything for himself, even getting into college, though Saskue did pull some string for that I hear."

"I know! He was using Sasuke." Sakura fist pumped like she had won a great victory.

"Think again. Sasuke has been bending and pointing Naruto's life toward himself for a long time. When they got separated in middle school, he vowed never to be apart from Naruto again, and looks like he's won."

"Naruto is still mean."

"Mean? You mean cause he challenges Sasuke. Another of Saskue's tricks that he lets you believe. It was all Sasuke's way of keeping your attention off Naruto, and on him while he took the man for himself. Pure brilliance."

"Naruto...Nartuo..." Sakura looked at the smiling blond, his perfect teeth, his ripped biceps, chiseled cheekbones.. he really wasn't so bad looking any more. "Naruto gave me a job when no one else would." Sasuke waved some girl off after she had brought the boys some drinks, but Naruto ran after her with a bill in hand. "He took me to prom after Sasuke turned me down, he he he.." The girl smiled at him and he slowly walked back to Sasuke. "Oh my god.. He's done so much for me... I... I... I've been a fool for so long.. But it's not too late!" Sakura slammed her hands onto the table. "Game on Sasuke." Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Game on."

Thank you for reading.(and reviewing? Eh eh eh nudge nudge) And remember I'm still looking for wedding song suggestion. 3


	10. Replacements

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Language! I use several swear words in this chapter so if you find them offending… Time to skip. Boyxboy.. that means gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

Naruto's head felt like shit. But there he was walking into the office with a bagged up taco and a large cup of coffee. He took a sip as he walked down the hall to his office and immediately spat it out.

"Sakura? What the hell are you wearing?" Sakura was casually leaned against the desk filling her nails. He looked up her long pale legs to the pink fabric that barely covered her crotch then higher over the red sequenced corset to the black choker up to the overly done up face.

"This? You know, laundry day. So I'm sorry I blew up on you. I had this total epiphany last night. I get it. You're totally not gay, and wouldn't dream of you know sex with a man." She stroked a hand down her hair. "I hear they do it in the ass and it hurts for the one bottoming, most bleed the first time and you can't sit for a week after you do it... since you'd bottom, it's totally clear you're not into that." She made an icky face. "I'm sure there is a woman out there that would loooove to please you. So no hard feelings ok?" She stroked a finger down between her breasts. She paused for a moment. Naruto gulped and starting to walk again, his eyes still not leaving as she continued. "I, huh, could take care of all those stupid wedding things so you don't ever have to think about it. Just let me know if there is anything I can do for you." She ran her hand up her leg and winked.

'Just walk forward.' He told himself unsure what to do but he couldn't take his eyes of those soft long legs which led up too..

SMACK ! !? !...

"Door. I'll just be in here. My office. Yeah, so ... yup..." Naruto opened his office door and closed it quickly.

He leaned against the door and clenched a hand to his chest. God his heart was racing. He leaned over to the side and opened one of the blinds to steal another look. He was going to have to jack off in the bathroom soon.

"What are you looking at?" The skin on his arms jumped.

The voice startled him and he flattened back against the door hitting his head once more. His questioner was none other than..." SASUKE!.. Huh what are you doing here?" To his left the dark haired man casually wrote in a booklet on his couch.

"Canceling our gaming sessions4 for the next four weeks. I 've arranged other plans." Sasuke placed Naruto's day planner onto the adjacent seat.

"Oh.. yeah… ok fine."

"No protest?"

"Nope just fine..." Naruto's voice was unsteady.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Fine why?"

Sasuke stood up from the coach tucked against the wall of Naruto's office. He checked his hair quickly in the mirror hanging above the black leather before walking over to the door.

"You look flushed." Sasuke's brows crunched in concerned

"Uhhh...I" A cool hand was placed on his forehead. "feel fine." Naruto grinned for reassurance.

"You're burning up."

"Noooo... not me... All good... getting.. uhhhh.. Sasuke could you like step away?"

"In sickness and in health." The raven's hand stayed in place while the man stepped in a little closer to his blonde roommate. He smiled into the blue eyes.

"I'm fine." Naruto placed his hands against Sasuke's chest preventing him from getting even closer. The pale hand dropped.

"Hn."

"What?" Naruto grinned, "Why are you staring?" The weight of Sasuke's body leaned against the hands Naruto had on it. He lean his head in further. Naruto closed his eyes, but was surprise to hear Sasuke whisper in his ear instead of kiss him.

"You're blocking the door, idiot."

"O." Naruto stepped aside and opened the door for Sasuke.

"By the way, you might want to remind your employees of the dress code, one of them is dressed like a hooker this morning." Sasuke stepped out the door. "Good morning Sakura."

"Good morning Sasuke." She mumbled in return.

The previous day had gone smoothly, really smoothly, side by him walking into wall all the time around Sakura. Today would be even better Naruto knew it.

'Inbox' click.

Sakura Hanaruo **Re:Office Attire** Naruto, I only wanted to make the work place a more enj

Sasuke Uchiha **Wedding Photo times** I've been discussing time with E. Anderson abou

Sasuke Uchiha **You seen this?** story/0,2933,508184, O

Sasuke Uchiha **Re: Buy out meeting part10** Ok Kakshi has finally finished the first draft.

Jay Dickenson **Time for a change?** Hi I'm Cindy and I want to run tongue all over your big

Minito namikaze **Your replacement** Naruto I've found a candidate to take over for you after

Kiba LadyKiller **Saturday.** Dude big game this weekend. I know you have a no chick poll b

Sasuke Uchiha **Re: Gym work out** I agree we can move up the time a half hour. You need t

YouTube Service **Comment on "That Bastard is my roommate"** You tube help center em

SAI, THE news/red-dawn-trailer OMG... this is going to be sooo

Sasuke Uchiha **Photographer** We got him. He's only the best Photographer in Konaha. The

Sasuke Uchiha **Photographers** Ok I've narrowed the list down to three photographers my fa

Sasuke Uchiha **Halo 4 release news** articles/10861/2012

Naruto paused through the headlines of his emails. He really liked getting comments about Sasuke on youtube. There were so many other people that knew he was a stuck up prick. Naruto's mouse hovered over the message when a knock came at his door.

"Come in." He called out.

The door opened. Sakura in a dark pink knee length skirt with a soft pink button up shirt, and red stilettos came into the room. "Mr. Namikaze is here to see you with Konohamaru Saratobi."

"Thank you I'll be right out. And Sakura."

She turned back around. "Hmmm?"

"You look nice today."

"Thanks," she tucked her head down a bit to the side and smiled as she walked away.

The older carbon copy of Naruto walked into the room followed by a young, short man, with short choppy locks of hair gelled straight up.

"Hey, this is Konohamaru Saratobi, Grandson of councilman Saratobi."

Naruto got up from behind his desk and walked around. He shook the kid's hand and smiled weakly.

"So I guess I'll show you around. Tell me what university did you attend?"

"None. I'm kinda a high school drop out."

Naruto's eye's bulged out and he slowly moved them over to his father's. He mouthed the word "What?"

"So this will be my office? Sweet. What's the mirror for watching yourself get fucked?"

"What? No no no no... I'll still be here... I just won't be here all the time. And no fucking. Uhh…" Naruto looking nervously at his dad.

"So then what's the big deal you don't need privacy?" The kid started speaking again. "You get a cubical and I'll take this office, it's for the full time VP right?"

"You're not..."

"Naruto." Minato interrupted. "Let's show him the rest of the department."

Naruto strode out of the door and beckoned the other two to follow. "This is Sakura Hanaru, she's the administrative assistant for the merchandising department."

"Why; Our Backs Are Now Against The Wall  
>Listen All Of Y'all It's A Sabotage<br>I Can't Stand It, I Know You Planned It"

Minito's phone started to ring. He put up a finger to indicate he would only take a moment. "Orochimaru."

"So nice to meet you." Sakura finally replied, sarcasm dripping in her voice. "Naruto, I let him in remember?"

'What's with the tude?' Naruto wondered. Ok time to test out this new 'approval' of his engagement.

"Yeah of course. Oh hey, Sasuke's got this photography thing, could you stop by the mall and pick me up some appropriate cloths. I'm not sure what you're supposed to wear in engagement photos.

"How about we go together?"

That caught Naruto off guard. She never wanted to do stuff with him alone. He hesitated for a moment. "Sure, just write it in my planner."

"I'll put it in outlook like all your other appointments."

"No my social planner. It's in the top right drawer of my desk."

"Oh, I didn't know…" She smiled.

Naruto grabbed his dad's shoulder's and started leading him down the hall.

"It's a date." She hollered after him as his dad shook the hand away then motioned them down the hallway further.

"So she's the secretary." The new thorn in Naruto's side started up again.

"Huh, yeah, but we prefer usually to use the more politically correct term, administrative assistant in front of the boss man."

"I can see why you hired her."

"Huh?"

"No temptation even f you were straight. God she's a dog and like what 40?"

"Shhh..." Naruto quicky looked down the hallway back to Sakura wondering if she heard. "How about we go meet the accountants?" Naruto tapped his Dad's shoulder and pointed in the direction they were heading.

"Yeah right behind you," He spoke softly as he covered the mouth piece.

"So tell me, are you the kind of queen that dresses up, or just has drama all the time?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're like totally gay, my Grandpa told me all about you're engagement to that Uchiha prick.

"Oh, yeah, neither. Not a queen, just regular… uhh.. gay and in love." Naruto huffed.

"Funny since you have a rant blog about him online."

"How... about we continue this tour without you talking?"

"Whatever."

"So that was boring." Konohamaru started speaking again after the grand tour finished. "Are you at least going to feed me lunch or just more shit?"

"Awe Naruto there you are. How's the tour going? Excited to dive into work Konohamaru?" Minito rounded back around the corner after long abandoning the two.

"Static " Konohamaru Saratobi gleed. "So food." He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, Naruto, I gotta take a meeting now. Take him down to the cafeteria and show 'em the rope. k later." His Dad rushed off again.

"My future. And yours. So food?"

"Duh." Konohamaru sighed.

"Slow down man, there's more than enough." The teen's eyes stared at him angrily and he went back to his meal. "Right. So why even both show up today if you think it's a joke to work here?"

"So what's the sex like? "Konohamaru put his fork down.

"You just go right in there for it don't you?" Naruto bit his lip.

"Avoiding my question?"

"Avoiding my question?" Naruto countered.

"That means it's bad or non-existent. No wonder you're so pissed off all the time."

"You should look in the mirror. Why are you so interested in me and Sasuke?"

"Sasuke and me," He corrected. "Why are you so dis-interested?

"None of your fucking business, just like my job is none of your business." Naruto growled.

"Scared I'm going to do it better than you?"

"More like scared you can't do it at all, I went to four years of Konaha University and double majored in finances and business. You ever learn anything in school?"

"Wow, sounds like you should have gone for eight years the way that department is run."

"Yeah, record breaking increase in profit, is something I really should be ashamed of."

"Whatever. Fire me already." He picked up his fork and continued to eat in silence.

Naruto finally got back to his desk. God he hated that kid. What was the deal? He picked up his phone and looked around. Sure it was his private office, but calling this person always made him on edge.

"Shika I need you to shadow someone. Yeah get everything you can on him. Name? Konohamaru Saratobi"

Naruto unlocked his computer and went back to his email. The list had grown substantially. He clicked on the message from his dad.

"Naruto I've found a candidate to take over for you after your acquisition is complete, unfortunately, I can't hire her. Councilman Saratobi has made it clear that he needs to find a good influence for his grandson, and unless we want to lose favor in the council we have to too put up with this kid. He's been tossed around in about six different private schools. He recently got back from one in Sound which finally graduated him. Unfortunately, his math skills are absent. The only thing he seems to be good at is getting into trouble. Sound a little familiar? Maybe you could help steer him in the right direction. After about a year we can toss him back out with some experience on his resume. I hate to put the extra burden on you, but I need your support on this one.

Thanks."

Remember to review! If you're into that kind of thing. Thanks for reading.


	11. That escalated fast

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: Language! I use several swear words in this chapter so if you find them offending… Time to skip. Boyxboy.. that means gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content. Also Sexual content warning. This chapter is rated M.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but I have a lot written so it may make it sorta far? Start reading at your own risk.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead.

**Spoiler? For those confused... this is SasuNaru, just like it says in the synopsis. Yes, no one likes that Naruto likes Sakura. She is Sasuke's rival. But we all know who is better for Naruto. And the right person will be with him in the end, Sasuke.

Sasuke dropped the GQ magazine he had been reading all morning onto Naruto's Desk. "I've dog earred the pages you should look at."

"Don't worry Sasuke, Sakura's going to help me shop." Naruto glanced over to the magazine from behind his monitor.

"All the more reason to worry."

"Girl's have great fashion sense." Naruto looked Sasuke straight in the eye to emphasize his claim.

Sasuke gave him and extra blank stare. "The pages are marked. My father has asked Itachi and myself for a late night meeting tonight."

"I saw it in your planner." Naruto snidely replied. Sasuke winked then turned to leave the room as Naruto replied.

"Page 35 would be the best look for you. See you tomorrow." Sasuke waved a hand in the air as he step out the door.

Sakura took out a compact from her purse and touched up her make up one more time. "Ok I'm ready to go in. Couldn't we find a parking spot any closer? I'm in high heels."

Naruto looked at her puzzled. "I don't really want my car getting dings."

"And I don't want to get blisters on my feet. Besides that's the same shit car you were driving in high school, it's not like it's a BMW." She pouted her lips and smeared the red stick along them then pressed her lips together.

Naruto smiled, and logged her reaction in the back of his head. "Why didn't you wear more comfortable shoes? We're going to be walking in the mall too." Naruto jumped out of the car to go around and open her door.

"Like your mucky old chucks? I think we need to start in the shoe department." She opened the door on her own and stepped out of the car.

"The shoes stay. Only person that can get me out of them is my mom, and she's not going to be at the photo shoot."

"Well, Mr. comfy shoes, maybe you can carry me to the door?" Naruto rolled his eyes at that one.

"You chose your shoes now walk in them." When was the last time they had actually hung out? Never. That was when. The butterflies in his stomach started to flutter away, but then she looked up and smiled and they returned.

"Alright, you big brute I get it. I just wanted to look good for you." She did a little pose sticking out her bum to the side and made the cutest silly face. Naruto checked out the soft pink mini skirt and low cut white shirt one more time. The bright red shoes did make the outfit look hot.

"And I thank you for that." Naruto grinned widely.

"So you'll carry me?" She gave a coy smile.

"Not a chance." Naruto started walking off.

"Hey wait." She closed the car door quickly and started chasing him. Nothing like making your crush run in high heels.

Naruto pushed the lock button and listened for the soft clicking of the doors then took out his phone. He scrolled through his the song options. "Where is it?" He wondered aloud.

"Where is what?" Sakura answered not realizing he wasn't speaking to her.

"Got it!"

His phone started making music. "DUN DUN dun dun DUn DUn dun dun DUn DUn do do do."

"Is that that mission impossible theme song?" She interrogated him with a disapproving voice.

"I'm looking for cloths it seamed appropriate." Naruto gave his cheese smile at her.

"You're so childish, but no worries, I'll have you all grown up by the time we leave." Naruto wasn't sure to smile or not. Sasuke wouldn't have judged so quickly.

They stepped through the door and instantly Sakura was in front of the first manikin. "O. M. G. This is gorgeous."

A long red dress hung from the manikin. It was fine, but Naruto couldn't really see how it was any different than the other dresses hanging on the racks. "Do you mind? I just want to try it on real fast."

"Uh.. yeah, sure." She flipped through the rack and pulled out the dress. They walked over towards a dressing room. Sakura's hand gently brushed against the racks. Cloths seamed to magically pop out of them and into her hands. They were soon at the dressing room and her arms full.

"Hey I'm going to head over to the men's department, see if I can pick anything out on my own." He played with the paper in his back pocket, while his voice trailed off.

"Don't be ridiculous. I know you wanna see how these all look on me." She pushed him down on the chair and disappeared down the hallway.

Naruto waited outside the door. There were not too many other costumers, one lady with long dark hair. She had two little boys with her: a blond one, and one with locks the color of her own. The boys were running around the store and eventually were no longer seen as they played hide an seek within the clothing racks. His hand reach back on it's own pulling out the page he had ripped from the GQ magazine. A nice blond man like himself was wearing a dusty orange shirt and black pants.

"We have that if you'd like me to grab it while your girlfriend tries on some clothes?" A plump older lady was peering over his shoulder. He checked her name tag.

"Yeah, thanks Margerie. That would be great." She snagged the paper and waddled off. Naruto leaned his head and closed his eyes. Dear lord this was the most boring shopping trip ever. So not worth the time with her. She wasn't even there to spend time with. She was locked away behind the sign that said "Women's changing room."

"A-hemmmm" Naruto looked up to see Sakura in a white sun dress with pink lace adorning the bottom. "Soooo what do you think?"

"You always look good." Was Hiruzen's reply.

"Mr. Sarutobi. What are you doing here?" Naruto jumped up to shake the man's hand.

"Hey Gramps why are we wasting time here?" Naruto rolled his eyes.

"To answer your question Naruto, I'm trying to get this young man some work appropriate cloths." He clenched down on the back of Konohamaru's neck making him cringe.

"Where's Sasuke?" Konohamaru grinned like mad. Which didn't make Naruto all that happy.

"Working." Was his quick reply.

"Yes, Konohamaru, brilliant. Why didn't I think of that?" Naruto looked at them puzzled. "You're grandmother told me Sasuke has impeccable taste in cloths."

"Grandmother..." Naruto restated under his breath... followed by bad really bad images passed through his mind.

"Call him immediately." Sabatobi's hand flung into the air with his declaration bringing Naruto back to the present.

"Wait,... when did you talk to my..."

Sakura interjected at that moment. "I could help. I'm helping Naruto shop right at this moment."

Konohamaru started to laugh uncontrollably. "No wonder you're in this land of Polyester. I couldn't imagine a designer like your mother would approve even being around clothes like these."

"This dress is cotton. Tell him it's cotton NarutoooOOO." Sakura's voice hit a knew high note that only dogs could hear.

"Calm down." Naruto glared over at her. She was making a really bad impression. Just then Margerie returned handing Naruto the shirt and then offering the paper back. Before he could grab it however, Konohamaru snatched the paper. " Armani.. Nice.. and hot guy." Naruto's brows sewed together. Konohamaru was gay? And asking about Sasuke a lot...

"Naruto.. that was weird. Why did that penguin just give you that shirt?"

Konohamaru snatched the shirt from Naruto's hands. "It's for me. I asked for it."

"Wow service here sucks." Sakura's voice held the utmost content. "Well I have a few more things to try on. Keep my darling blonde company while I'm gone?" Sakura pouted and then disappear.

Naruto immediately snatched the shirt back from Konohamaru along with the paper.

"So where is Sasuke? Seams very odd that you would be shopping with this young lady." Hiruzen tapped his finger to his chin while thinking about it.

"That is no lady." Konohamaru

"Boy hold your tongue. We are in public." The young man's elder chastised whilst Naruto cringed. No wonder this boy was such a brat. Who knew what these people bitched about at home and how they could talk about people. Naruto rubbed his head.

"Sasuke?" Konohamaru started again.

"Is at work, in a meeting with his father."

"Tell, Fugi that I need his son's aid. I'm sure he'll spare Sasuke."

Being rich was one thing being filthy rich was another, and an ex-mayor still another. Naruto flipped open his phone and started typing away.

His phone beeped.

_"y"_

_"Because I asked?"_

_"y"_

_"OMG Shopping when Old man money showed up, need you now."_

_"This sounds like a kinky 3 way.. Not interested."_

_"SASUKE! Sarutobi is requesting your presence... X.X"_

_"You decided to spend time with Sakura now deal with it."_

_"Bastard, I'm serious he brought Konohamaru to look for work cloths."_

_"TXT me pics if you need an opinion. gtg"_

_"Bastard"_

"NARUTO!" Sakura called from in the dressing room. "I need some help with this zipper!"

Naruto slowly got up from his chair. "Duty calls guys."

"Don't forget to flush." Konohamaru whispered.

Naruto walked back hands in pockets. He spotted a dress blob flopping about trying to get a zipper in the back when... Swoooshhhh.. the dress fell off entirely. Naruto quickly turned around and started to blush.

"Oh NARUTO! Thank goodness. Come give me a hand."

Naruto peeked over his shoulder. There she was standing in a bra and panties. He turned his head back again. "Sakura!" He then lowered his voice. "Tell me when the dress is pulled up again." He felt a hand on his back prompting him to turn around. She was still in nothing but her skivvies. He blushed like made and averted his vision.

"We're both adults. I'm sure you've seen a girl in her underwear before. Nothing new here. Don't you like how I look?" Naruto stood there stunned.

"It's not that, it's just you've never... I didn't think you were soo... open.. I mean free.. I mean" Shit wasn't there something he could say that didn't make her sound like a cheap hooker? "Liberal!"

"Call down Naruto, it's not like we're going to do it right now."

"No I..." Sakura went back to the dress she left at the door of the small changing room. Naruto fumbled as he zipped it up and thanked the gods he did believe in that he didn't get a hard on during the exchange.

"Awe it's totally... my favorite. Is it yours, tell me you love it? No is it bad? is it me?"

"It's good." Naruto shrugged his shoulders trying to reassure her. "So get into your regular cloths and we can head over to men's department."

She pouted at his lack of response. "Sure." She took an other glance in the mirror as he left.

"Polyster." Konohamaru coughed as she came back out, a large stack of the cloths she had tried on in her hands.

"Oh, don't you leave the cloths you don't want in the dressing room?" Naruto inquired.

"I want these. Why are you holding that awful dirt orange shirt again?"

"Konohamaru wanted to help you carry the cloths you picked out. I think he has a crush on you. Very jealous that I got to help you before." Naruto nudged the boy forward who gave him a death glare.

The checker quickly rung up the items. "That will be two thousand four hundred dollars and twenty seven cents. Credit or debit?"

Sakura smiled a bit and then pushed her tiny boobs together. "Isn't just so sweet that Naruto offered to get all these things for helping him shop?" She leaned over to Mr. Sarutobi and then stared at Naruto.

"Bull shit." Konohamaru coughed.

"Uhhh, yeah, wait a minute Sakura I ..."

"Thank you." She cut off and gave him a kiss on the check.

"My my young lady... if that's all it takes to get you to kiss a taken man, I might get you something myself." Sakura crinkled he nose.

"Naruto and I go way back. We were High school sweet hearts.

"I know why he's gay now then." Konohamaru jabbed.

"He's Bi and He's always getting me things. I think he wants to get back with me honestly, but I'm not so easily bought not like Sasuke. Just kidding Just kidding"

"Issues." Konohamaru sing-songed.

Naruto leaned over and whispered. "Sakura, I'm not paying for these."

"Of course you are, you don't want to look bad in front of one of your most promising future investors. Plus, I'll make sure you'll be fully compensated."She gave him a wink and smirk.

Naruto took out a silver colored card from his wallet and handed it over.

Pink Tie, Pink Shirt, Pink pants? How did Sakura find all of these things? Why did this store even carry them?

She held up the shirt to Konohamaru. "This is so your color. You're going to look fabulous. Here Naruto hold these." She dumped a pile of other shades of pink into his arms.

"Ok. Give me the pin stripped shirt." She demanded.

"The what stripped?" Naruto asked.

"Wouldn't a shirt with pins in it hurt a bit?"

She gave him a 'what?' face.

Sabatobi grabbed the third shirt down from the pile.

"The pins are all taken out of the shirt Naruto, it's jsut the name of the stripes."

"Oh." Naruto rolled his eyes.

Margerie walked over to Naruto.

"Could I start a dressing room for you young man?"

"Yes." Sakura replied. She waved a hand at the two to dismiss them. Naruto placed his shirt in one of the rooms, hoping he would have a moment to slip it on, but then Sakura Demanded he come back out and assess Konohamaru.

When Konohamaru came out of the dressing room Sabatobi's face quickly lit up and then turned into an octagon

"Maybe we could find a nice pair of blue pants to go with that shirt instead." Margerie took a few steps to get the pants but Sakura's objections stopped her.

Naruto snapped a picture and send it to Sasuke.

"No trust me, stop Margerie, this is the look right now. Tell them."

Naruto's phone beeped.

Sakura was suddenly hovering over him. "It's rude to txt while you are out with other people you know?"

"You're busy with them." Naruto waved his hand.

Naruto's phone beeped once more. Naruto swept over the screen unlocking the phone as he walked off from her.

_"I'm here." _

_"Wait what?"_ Naruto replied.

"Behind you." Naruto jumped a bit at the voice.

"Thank Science. I'm never going shopping again."

"Was it as bad as the fiasco of 97'? "

"Nothing can be THAT bad." Naruto replied.

"That's a plus." Sasuke gently pushed Naruto away.

"I've been trying to try on one shirt for hours but... well at least it's in the dressing room."

They walked down the aisle. Back to where Sakura was barking out orders.

"How did you get out of your meeting?"

"Naruto it's 8:45 P. M. I'm surprised you are still here. I would certainly never hold you hostage that long."

"If you were a girl I'd marry you for real just for that."

"You know I have parts that can please you also." Naruto stood behind a moment digesting what Sasuke just told him.

Sasuke went up to greet Konohamaru who was now dressed in a pink polka dot shirt.

"No." Sasuke declared as he passed bye. "Just no." Sasuke checked the tag. "Polyester... Really Sakura?" He waved for Naruto to come forward and follow him into a dressing room.

"Seeeee..." The boy pointed at the pair as they passed.

- dressing room

"ATTENTION SHOPPERS THE MALL WILL BE CLOSING IN 10 MINUTES, THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT NIEMANN MARCUS"

Naruto leaned his head against Sasuke's and spoke softly.

"Did you see? Did you see? I can't f-ing believe this trip. This is why I hate shopping."

"Konohamaru's not so bad."

"Yeah you think so? You can ask him out then I think he's into you."

"I thought I made it clear I already have a man."

Naruto squealed as Sasuke's hands grabbed his ass.

"HANDS!" Naruto pulled back grabbing hold of the offending limbs.

Sasuke smirked at him and Naruto smiled back. Sasuke hands led him forward again and Naruto rested himself flush against Sasuke's body. He took a deep breath in and out to calm down after all the stress this trip had been. He wondered for a moment if all best friend's were so close. He never felt uncomfortable in a position like this with Sasuke, but then he never found evidence of it being normal.

"It's just been so odd. First off, I came here to shop for me, and this is the fist time I'm in a dressing room trying something on and the mall is closing in ten minutes. Next when I went to help Sakura zip up a dress in the dressing room she was walking around in her underwear!"

"So? Nothing there to see."

"You're mad, she's really hot!"

"Did it get you all hot?"

"Well, I was in shock.. but..."

"So no?"

"I just didn't understand it, she's never come off that way before?"

"Like a slut? Have you seen the way she dresses? And in high school there was this time she..."

"Sasuke..."

"Hn. What else happened?"

"Then she had me cover the cost of all the shit she wanted."

"Hn?"

"She'll pay me back. Don't give me that look."

"Hn?"

"That look like I'm getting taken advantage of."

"Naruto it's so simple what's going on."

"It is?"

"She's using you now that she knows you have money."

"No she's not like that, she's paying me back. You'll see." Sasuke pushed his hands against Naruto's chest making him stand fully.

Sasukes hands ran down Narutos chest then grabbed at the fabric of his shirt to pull it out. He started on the bottom button one and moved his way up. His hands swayed slightly causing small touches to Naruto's chest. Naruto bit down on his lips as the skin tingled with Sasuke's touch.

"You'll see." He stepped in a tad more to allow Sasuke's arms enough reach to remove the garment, hands ran down his arms. And that is when it happened. 'Not now' he told his little self. 'Why the hell am I getting a boner now?'

Sasuke grabbed the other shirt. Naruto was glad as the other man moved behind him in aiding his arm to slip into the appropriate hole, but cringed as Sasuke then moved back around to aid in the other one. Sasuke hands returned to his chest now redoing what he had just undone on the other shirt. The pale phalanges started at the top and worked their way down. Each little bump caused Naruto's little problem to become a larger and larger one. 'Stop' he commanded his manhood but it wouldn't listen. 'Why does this always happen to me at the worst time?'

When the last button was done and Sasuke hadn't said anything he released his breath, but swiftly took in another one as Sasuke's hand popped open the button from his pants. Covering his crotch Naruto swiftly turned and questioned "What are you doing!"

"You have pants to try on." The pair of pants landed on his head as if to call him an idiot.

"Do not? Where did they come from?"

"Previous costumer with good taste?"

"Well, I can dress myself."

"Moron, just turn around." Naruto slowly turned.

"Pull your pants down."

He carefully unzipped his pants and let them drop to the ground. Keeping his hands infront of himself he gave Sasuke a cheese smile.

"You hard or something" Sasuke questioned raising an eyebrow.

"NOOOOO..."

Sasuke offered Naruto the pants. When Naruto failed to grab the pant Sasuke knew what was up.

"You are hard." Sasuke stated with a little too much glee in his voice for Naruto's liking.

"Announce it to the whole world! Could you talk a little softer!" Naruto

"I'll be softer when you are."

"Bastard."

"No, don't be like that. I'm flattered."

"It's not because of you."

"Hn."

Sasuke moved closer, so Naruto moved back, but they could only keep that up for a few steps until naruto's back was planted firmly against a wall.

"Let me see."

"What?"

"I want to see if I get you fully hard or partially."

"Sorry nothing to see there."

"Only according to sia."

"Why are you being so weird?"

"You've never wondered."

"Wondered?"

"Who's bigger." Sasuke smirked.

"I'm bigger."

Sasuke gave a small chuckle. "Let me check."

"No."

"Chicken."

"Fuck you." Naruto removed his hands. Sasuke hand dove into the hole in the front and pulled out Naruto's full length.

"Hn."

"What?"

"I'm bigger." Sasuke declared

"Like hell you are, I'm not fully hard yet."

Sasuke started stroking the shaft a bit. "Let's see it at full then."

"Hey, see with your.. Eyes.. not with yourrrr hands.."

"Are you fully hard yet? Cause I'm stilll winning this."

"NO... I don't get fully hard unless I'm being kissed usually and I know the girl is really into it."

Sasuke leaned in and kissed Naruto's lips and moaned loudly. Shit if that didn't give him a wave of pleasure. Sasuke continued to make a lot of noise. Naruto knew he was getting hard to the point of dick convulsions, still Sasuke wasn't confessing that he had lost. 'grrroooow grooow more' He told his little guy. The entire situation had Naruto horny, confused, mad, horny, annoyed, horny, exhausted, horny, and pissed he hadn't won already.

"MMMmMmmmm... aaaww Naruto..." He pushed Sasuke up and off of him.

"What the hell Sasuke.. they can hear."

"Good, we're engaged and in a changing room together."

Naruto gave him a blank start..."Still not acceptable.. keep it down..."

"No it's up. Way more up than yours."

"Fucking prove it then."

Sasuke dropped his pants and pulled out his cock.

"I fucking give up. You have to be kidding. I mean...HOW? SCIENCE hates me... Why genes why did you betray me?" Naruto through his hands in the air

"Polka dots. On what crazy ass planet does that bitch come from. This is the most hideous outfit I ever saw."

The door in the next room slammed as Naruto back hit the wall again. His lips suddenly locked with a moaning Sasuke. Sasuke hand returned to Naruto's hot flesh. He felt somethign else in the mix too, smooth yet hard yet fleshy... Oh god our cocks our touching! Shit did the sensation feel amazing. It was errotic as hell since he had never been touched like that and in a public place with someone listening... Naruto pushed Sasuke off harshly "Bastard! Don't touch me in such a fromilar way. We are in Public!"

Though Naruto had stopped the main assault. Sasuke rubbed his thumb in a circle across Naruto tip. Naruto bit down. "I said stop."

"Close your eyes then open them when you are looking up." Naruto knew when he needed to trust Sasuke.

Naruto did just that. The truth behind actions were about to be revealed.

"Mind if I join?"

"Konohamaru." Naruto grabbed the only thing in reach he could to cover himself, sasuke. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to tell Sai that he's wrong about you. Sasuke, wow"

Naruto pulled Sasuke in tigher trying to melt into the other boy and disappear.

"Leave." Sasuke commanded.

"Hey what's going on in there?" Sakura's voice called in.

Konohamaru's feet plopped on the ground and heavy feet wre heard running out to the door.

"ATTENTION COSTUMERS THE MALL IS NOW CLOSED. WE WILL BE REOPENING TOMORROW MORNING AT 9 AM."

"Shit Sasuke. I didn't get anything."

"Don't worry, I bought all the clothes I tagged for you last week."

Naruto groaned.

Phew, this was such a challenging chapter to write. I had so many ideas that were not working with the tone and flow I wanted for the story. I hope that I got a lot of the funny moments I was aiming for. I also wanted to push Naruto into seeing Sasuke in a little more sexual light, I'm afraid that maybe it's a little to much and unrealistic, but that's not uncommon in comedies. What did you think?


	12. Butt hurt

Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto or the set of character's used in this Story

Warning: some language! I use several swear words in this chapter so if you find them offending… Time to skip. Boyxboy.. that means gay stuff. This is rated M for sexually mature content. Also Sexual content warning. This chapter is rated PG in my opinion.

Other warnings: I make no promises on updating or finishing this story but i will try.

Final Warning: This is not beta=many typos ahead. feel free to let me know if there are any seriously bad ones.

-I am the chapter start-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-

"Oh My Gawd. My ass is so sore."

"The third quarter division earnings?" Minito asked his son again.

"But nooo my ass… it's never felt like this. You wouldn't believe what Sasuke made me do."

"Dear lord." Minito looked up to the ceiling. "Make him stop."

"Details, every last one." Konahamaru smirked back.

- - - 15 hours earlier- - -

"Sasuke where are we going?" Naruto leaned forward and played with his temperature setting again making it as cold as possible.

"Wedding stuff." Sasuke replied simply.

"Yeah I got that from the cryptic note you left on my calendar: 'bring comfortable shoes, need to get some wedding stuff prepared.'"

"Hn." Sasuke's hand wandered forward until it found a knob and turned it up.

Naruto smiled. Sasuke hated being cold. Though his side of the car was supposed to be climate controlled the guy didn't trust 1" as sufficient separation to keep his side a comfortable 74 degrees.

Naruto flicked at the radio. "Ugh, wrecking ball again."

"At least it's not Applause'." Naruto agreed but continued to flip the stations. "You only have one Pop radio station dialed in? What is all this classical shit?"

"I have no pop stations dialed in, you 'corrected' my selection a month ago and I changed them back."

"EWE NPR. Make it stop… the horror... the horror..."

"You could really use more culture Naruto."

"You mean snobbery, and subsiding to boring things because someone arbitrarily designated them as 'sophisticated.' Link'in park is just as brilliant as Mozart."

The car came to swift stop and Naruto's stomach took a punch from his seat belt. "The hell, Bastard?"

"Someone arbitrarily designated Taylor Swift is good as well, but we both know better than that." Sasuke's eye's beaded as he huffed out his response. "We're here."

"And the 'break check'?"

"You insulted Amadeus." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"You're on a first name basis with Mozart? Should I be jealousy?"

"He's dead and that's his middle name. Now get out."

"That wasn't a 'no.'"

As the boys opened the their respective doors Naruto looked down the tiny strip mall they were at: Lee's Sporting goods, BluePort Dance, ChoCho's Buffet, Yamanaka Blossoms, post office, and Suits by Gunn.

"I could have picked out a tuxedo myself. Besides isn't it bad luck to see the groom in his suit before the wedding day?"

"Only the bride. However, you need not worry me seeing you in your suit we're here for the dance studio."

"Wut?" All the blood drained from Naruto's face until he was as pale as Sasuke.

"It's tradition for the couple to share the first dance, and then our mothers will most likely cut in for the second dance. I'd appreciate it if you avoided aunt Toxy* and Itachi."

"Ok Aunt Toxy I understand, but Itachi?"

"He's been eyeing your ass."

"Has not!"

"Come on." Sasuke waved his hand as he walked towards the building.

"I'm not going in there." Naruto slowly followed his cohort.

"And I will not have your left feet stepping on my toes, we take lessons before the wedding." Sasuke insisted.

"You have fun learning, cause I'm not dancing now or at the wedding." Naruto stopped dead in the middle of the parking lot and folded his arms.

Sasuke got his phone out and started to dial.

"Who are you calling?" Naruto's voice rung deep with dispare.

Sasuke put a finger out for Naruto to wait.

"Fuck." Naruto started walking again until he reached the insufferable bastard. "Sauske, who are you calling?" Naruto grabbed at the phone, but Sasuke kept stepping out of his grabbing hands' way until. "Hello Grandmother-to-be."

"SASUKE!"

"Yes, Naruto is refusing to take the dance lessons you so generously set up for us." Naruto's eyes bulged. "Of course I can put him on the phone."

"Sasuke! No, I'm going inside. I promise, just don't make me..." Sasuke shoved the phone to his ear.

"NARUTO!" Am angry voice yelled at him accusingly.

"Yes grams."

"Are you being an ungracious little brat?"

"No grams... I just…."

"You march that little tushie of yours into that dance studio right at this moment and shake it like you're Miley Cyrus." Naruto's shoulders caved down as he listened.

"Yes grams." Naruto sighed in defeat. Naruto pushed the phone back into Sasuke's chest.

"You are so paying for this."

"Can you say gorgeous and gorgeous, I can't decide which one of you to be jealous of, you are both just so de-lish. How would you feel about a little pre-marriage threesome?" Their instructor was wearing bright pink spandex flare pants with a strip of leopard print running own the side along with a matching leopard print shirt. His hair had a ridiculous swoosh over and his stance would put any girl to shame.

"Oh we're not... gay." Naruto waved his hand between Sasuke and himself trying to explain.

"Honey you're engaged," the instructor gave him a deadline stare, "the cat is out of the bag."

"Can we get this over with?" Naruto asked while folding his arms.

"Sweetheart you're not going to want to leave after an hour you'll be having so much fun. My name is Master Flaminco, and welcome to BluePort fantasy dance island. I'm going to get your hips swinging like an Australian hurtle jumper. Follow me." He waved his hand up in the air and snapped three times above his head as his little ass waved back and forth over onto the center of the dance floor.

"Now ladies, one of you are going to have to step up and be the man." The man's lisp never ceased to spring out from even a single word.

"Naruto, clearly, I should be the man." Sasuke's volunteered quickly.

"I've got bigger biceps than you!" Naruto pulled his sleeve back and tightened his biceps to demonstrate.

"I'm taller." Sasuke countered quickly.

"I have better rythm."

Sasuke smirked. "I have a bigger penis."

"I want a rematch!"

"Gentlemen, Gentlemen,... " The instructor inserted himself in between Sasuke and Nartuo with a gay smile on his face. "I'll get the ruler."

Naruto and Sasuke both turned to glare daggers at the man. "No? That's a shame, alright, I guess you can both take turns, but there is no way I believe both of you are switches. Just tell me who tops. Big and muscled, and bottom in the bedroom right blondy?" Naruto grimaced at the wink that followed. He shook his head and relinquished into being the follower.

"Alrighty- Every-Body. Get your partner and lets learn how to hold them. Firmly, grip the hand just like on anything else worth hold. Then place your other hand midway down the back."

Sasuke and Naruto stepped closer. Sasuke made the first move as to grasp at Naruto's right hand. His then yanked him forward a bit but Naruto refused to move so Sasuke stepped forward and placed his other hand onto Naruto's back. Naruto then waved his other hand in the air.

"Doll you just go ahead and feel up this mighty bicep with that hand." The guy motioned up and down Sasuke's right arm in a way that put Vana White to shame. "Excellent. Now let me have a looksee… Oh no…. Awe yes... The hold…. I think I better just demonstrate so that you get a better idea. If you wouldn't mind me borrowing your cream puff, Mr. Uchiha?"

"Did he just call me a cream puff? I'm gonna show him who's a..." Naruto started rolling up his sleeves.

"I'm right here baby, no need to use the third person."

"No." Sasuke roped his arms around Naruto's stomach and clasped down on his hands. "I think I'm doing fine."

The instructor pouted "So possessive. Love it. Rawrrr. But seriously no one else is here and that hold is sadder than a wet puppy. So hand him over."

Flaminco demonstrated the basic hold placing his right arm to the back and holding Naruto's right hand in his left up and over to the side.

"Alright now, in every dance the man... starts with the left foot, and the lady, that's you sweat heart." Naruto felt his hand get squashed to emphasize Flaminco meant him. "starts with the right going back."

"Sasuke, I'm killing you as soon as we leave."

"I'm over here minding my own business. You can't blame me for this man's actions." Naturo tosses his hand don't and force his way out of the hold Flaminco had him in to take a swing at Sasuke's gut.

"You drove me here! makes perfect sense." Naruto retorted. As Sasuke buckled over he piled drive his shoulder into Naruto causing his fiance to tumble over onto his ass.

"Your grandmother set this up." Sasuke gasped out before Naruto quickly reached out and locked Sasuke's legs and then shoved his shoulder into them making Sasuke loose his balance.

"But who gave her that idea?" Naruto growled as Sasuke also tumbled over.

Sasuke quickly turned putting Naruto's torso into a leg lock whilst controlling his upper arms from taking swings at him.

"Gentlemen. If you're going to get it on, I'm going to have to charge extra," Mr Flamico interjected, "but only if you don't include me."

Naruto stopped his attempts to squirm out of Sasuke's grip.

They both got up and brushed themselves off. Naruto took a few deep breaths while opening up his chest. After he finished calming down he glanced over to Sasuke who then walked over and took Naruto's hands into his own. "Feel better?"

"Now my ass hurts."

Sasuke smirked and the dance lesson continued.

For those that like to review please remember to do so!

*Gilmore Girl's reference.


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